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Kerry’s Grand Unified Campaign Strategy

From a newly discovered Kerry campaign notebook:

George W. Bush’s secret plan is to kill more senior citizens faster by purposely sabotaging Flu vaccines and simultaneously stopping stem cell research outlawing Canadian reimportation of perscription drugs, then forcing those that refuse to die into poverty by privatizing their Social Security, ensuring that fewer core Democrat party voters will be alive to vote and since he’s also drafting all the kids into the military against their will while the evil John Ashcroft is rounding up all the remaining dissenters under false charges of supporting terror under provisions of the so called "Patriot Act" and Michael "Nepotism" Powell is silencing the voices of leftist media by questioning their patriotism, that will leave nothing but loyal Halliburton employees to vote in the election. This is the ultimate in voter suppression techniques. If doesnt supress enough votes, Bush has promised to increase the arsenic in the water so his corporate pals can make more profits, and you know what that means, dont you comrade! Run for the Hills! We're all going to die!

Oh! and I forgot, the reason why it cost you 2.50 a gallon for you to drive your SUV's with Kerry/Edwards stickers on the bumpers to this Democrat rally is because Bush and his cronies in Saudi Arabia are manipulating the price of oil to satisfy their contractual obligations to the Carlile group so that they can put on the "New World Order Bildeburger Bash" this year at the Bohemian grove.

Oh! and one other thing, the reason why its so hard to park at the mall or get a seat at a restaurant is because everyone is out of work. If people had real jobs they wouldnt be hanging out at the mall buying stuff all the time would they?

Oh! did I mention that Bush is a Christian? Well, I dont have to tell you what that means, do I comrade? John Kerry is a Catholic, but its not like he really follows it, I mean, He's divorced, votes for abortion rights, advocates all sorts of things the church works against and except for election season every 6 years, he doesnt darken the door of a church. I mean, The President actually believes that stuff, how dangerous is that? The last thing we need in this world is someone who believes in something greater than himself, that just screws it up for the rest of us.

Oh! One other thing - Mary Cheney is a Lesbian. I know cause Barney Frank and Jim McGreevy told me so. It's not that we didnt know, or that she didnt know, but we just thought you'd like to know, but only if it changes how you think of the Cheney family, if it changes how you feel about John Kerry, then you are clearly a bigot.

And just because this memo looks fake, it doesnt mean that the facts dont support what the memo says.

(Lord John Worfin - Kerry Campaign Manager - Reporting for Duty)

Posted @ October 18, 2004 10:06 AM | Election 2004

Posted by: Vic at October 18, 2004 12:48 PM

Posted by: leelu at October 18, 2004 04:52 PM

Posted by: Frank Martin at October 18, 2004 05:45 PM