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2nd Annual Moonbat Festival

The 2nd Annual Moonbat Festival was celebrated today in the big cities of blue states and Socialist countries around the world in a pitiful attempt by the politically impotent to remain relevant in the face of the worlds current events.

The cry for “No War in Iraq” was met with askance views from bystanders who correctly noted that the war in Iraq had not only already been fought but has been won for over two years. Other banners and placards in the rapidly diminishing crowds calling for the ratification of the League of Nations Treaty and passage of the Equal Rights Amendment along with cries for Women’s Suffrage and “Re-implement the Volstead Act” were also seen in the crowds of loyal if not highly deluded Howard Dean supporters. Other vocal and rowdy supporters of long time Presidential candidate William Jennings Bryan were undaunted by the fact that their favorite populist candidate has been dead for nearly 80 years. The southern rights activist group, Daughters for the Confederate States of America held a bake sale with sheet cakes that that read “ The South Shall Rise again” written in red and blue icing in scroll across the tops. “God Bless Bobby Byrd” said DCSA spokesman Hattie McCracker of Georgia as she noted to reporters that once upon a time there were many men in the Senate like him, but now there’s only one man there who back their peculiar institutions. "You used to be able to count on men from Texas to hold on to certain views, but it seems with George W. Bush, you just can't. You just never know who he's going to put in his cabinet." said Hattie to reporters as she sipped her mint julep on the courthouse steps.

Protestors in London chanted "George Bush ... Uncle Sam. Iraq will be your Vietnam" causing the heads of Oxford history professors spin uncontrollably as they dealt with a rhyming chant that compares a failed attempt at supporting democracy in South East Asia to the successful removal of a brutal despotic dictator that ended in free elections and the political transformation of an entire region towards democracy, a feat unequaled at any time during the 60 years of British Empire control of Iraq.

In midtown Manhattan, 350 people marched silently along 42nd Street, flashing peace signs and carrying 50 cardboard coffins. The crowd in Central Park was much smaller than last year, when an estimated 100,000 people marched in New York City. Political pundits commented that the dwindling numbers might reflect the growing impact of easily attainable Levitra and Viagra on the open market. However, one other observer, activist and public defender Michael Letwin commented, "I think Bush's re-election took the steam out of the anti-war movement" giving further medical evidence that protestors are in fact capable of correctly assessing reality without the administration of psychotropic prescription drugs.

Later in the day, the flat earth society and its rivals the hollow earth society fought in open fisted combat in the Rockefeller center skating rink while supporters of the “Moon landing Hoax “ stood in neutral corners noting to one and all that the whole “polar thing” was a just ‘government conspiracy' in any case.

Posted @ March 19, 2005 09:04 PM | Current Affairs