Varifrank: Tales Of Political Impotency

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Tales Of Political Impotency

Lately I’ve been puzzled by the sudden swarm of Levitra advertisements. I’ve always thought that the one thing in the world you would not need to advertise would be an actual real working solution to impotency. If you were struck with such an affliction, you would crawl over broken glass for anything to solve it. You don’t need advertisements for something as essential to life as, well, uh, that is.

Today I finally figured out what it is all about. The “erectile dysfunction’ advertisement swarms are meant to reach an entirely new segment of the market. That segment is the despondent depressed and dare I say “ soft” political left in this country that just can’t accept the reality of life in the real world. Bush won, Twice, He’s not stupid, and frankly he’s brought freedom to more women than “bubba” ever did. Oh-my-god, What if hes right, they go wailing into the night…..

For this weeks episode of “Tales of Political Impotency”, I submit the following from Portland Oregon:

“Since December, patrons who order Jack Daniel's whiskey at Gino's, the Sellwood restaurant known for its pasta and mammoth Caesars, have been asked to try a brand with no affiliation to President Bush. (Brown-Forman, the company that distills JD, supported W in 2004; earlier, Bush named the company's former CEO ambassador to Austria.) "It wasn't an easy decision, because a lot of our customers drink Jack Daniel's—and my own drink was Jack and Coke," says Gino's owner Mark Accuardi. "But we sleep better at night."

Now, I’m a cold heartless capitalist imperialist dog, so I think in terms of “what does the market want” not “ how can I impose my political beliefs on my patrons”, but like I said, I’m a cold heartless bastard, this guy is clearly one of those who “care”. You know these guys...

I notice that the patrons of this establishment arent bothered by his serving Russian Vodka, this despite the Russian human rights record in Chechnya. Nope, no sleep problems, everything’s fine, its just the screen door banging in the wind, go back to sleep dear... I don’t know for sure, but they probably drink French Wines and Grey Goose Vodka, this despite the French use of Polynesia as a nuclear test area and the bombing of Greenpeace ships. France by the way is the worlds biggest user of Nuclear power, including the dreaded “breeder reactor”, but hey no loss of sleep there.

But Jack Daniels keeps them up at night because it might be perceived as helping the evil “Bush-Hitler”. Oh good, I'm glad you are doing something to stop old Mr. Scratch. Nope, No Political Impotency there...

Oh by the way, the taxes on your food and drinks? That will go right in the coffers of mean old Mr. Bush. Bwhahahahah!

Is this Sad? Is it Pathetic? Yeah. But it’s really just another “TALE OF POLITICAL IMPOTENCY”.

Posted @ March 03, 2005 10:15 AM | Current Affairs

damn, no trackbacks on my end. considered yourself tracked

Posted by: bothenook at March 3, 2005 10:38 AM

disregard previous post. i are now a, a, a geb week, i meens web geek. fingered out that whole trackback thingie.

Posted by: bothenook at March 3, 2005 12:41 PM

I don't know how exactly I'd react if I were to order a Jack Daniels and have a bartender or waiter ask me to try something else so the owner's political sensibilities wouldn't be wounded. I might be tempted to ask he wanted to satisfy his $&*^ing customers or to suck up to the fools found reading DailyKos.

Posted by: mistercalm at March 3, 2005 05:02 PM