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Mom! Joey is looking at me again.

A Varifrank Translation Service, For you the Loyal Reader..

New pope's brother very concerned about his election

Translation: Oh this is just great, and "Who Am I" exactly? Oh thats right, Im the "brother of the pope". Gee, that puts me right after what in the big scheme of things? Cardinals, Archbishops, bishops, fathers, mother superiors, sisters, nuns. So Whats "Brother of the Pope"?. I'll tell you what it is, it's "Bubkus", thats what.

REGENSBURG, Germany (AFP) - The brother of Pope Benedict XVI Georg Ratzinger, 81, said he was "very concerned" and "shocked" upon hearing that Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger had been elected as head of the Roman Catholic Church because of his age and frail health.

"I am very concerned. I would have thought his advanced age and his health which is not very stable would have been reason enough for the cardinals to pick someone else," said a visibly moved in an interview on German television after the election of his 78-year-old brother.

Translation: As his older and more frail brother, I should know. Let me tell you, the kids got problems, why when he was 4 years old, whoops!, I guess thats what the kids today call TMI - "Too Much Information".

"But the cardinals made their decision and that is the will of God," said Ratzinger, himself a prelate.

Translation: So I guess once again, its not what you know its who you know,isnt it. Those guys are so catty, its all a big popularity contest in there. I dont get along because I tell it "like it is" and dont blow smoke up their smocks and they dont want to hear that do they?

He said he was "shocked" upon hearing the news Tuesday that his younger brother had been elected pope.

Translation:Shocked? are you kidding? Now I get to listen to mom go on and on about "why cant you be more like your brother, you know "His Holiness - The Pope"? Mom always like him best anyway. Well, she didnt like him best when he tied her cat to the clothesline, whoops, there I go again... This whole thing is going to make Thanksgiving hell, you know that dont you? Of course "His Holiness" wont be able to make it but will that stop everyone from talking about him? ohhhh nooooo, theyll go on and on and on about what a great guy he is and how does it feel to be "the brother of the pope". I'll tell you how it feels!, oh is the camera on? Oops, better save that for later then...

"I got used to the idea during the night but it is still overwhelming," he added. Ratzinger said he had yet to speak with his brother following his election and expected to see him less often as he takes on the job as leader of the world's 1.1 billion Catholics.

"We will still have close ties but we will be much less in contact," he said.

Translation:Oh, and do you think "His Holiness" will remember my birthday this year? Its not like "My Brother- The Pope", doesnt have an entire staff of people now just to remember things for him. He cant use that " I lost my Palm Pilot" excuse anymore. I better get something more than a pair of socks this year or I may decide to get a little chatty about you-know-what dear brother...

Oh, Why should I visit him? Its not like everytime I sit down at Starbucks to enjoy a little caffe latte I wont get someone sitting across from me reading a newspaper with a headline about "Pope Benedict this and Pope Benedict that". "Pope Benedict", Feh. You know what we called him when he was a kid? We called him "Stinky". Thats right "Pope Stinky", that doesnt work so well does it! So you go ahead and call him Pope Benedict, He'll always be "Pope Stinky" to me.

Ratzinger had said last month that he did not believe his brother had a chance at being elected pope because of his advanced age and his German nationality.

Translation: You know that whole 'Martin Luther' thing just really hosed us over here in Der Grosse Deutchland. Talk about holding a grudge. I say, let it go. Its not our fault the whole Protestant revolution started because one guy got a wart on his fanny and got all "uppity". Ok, maybe it is, but come on now, its been 500 years.

Editors Note: I'm not a Catholic, Yet I have no particular issue with the Pope one way or the other, but I like what I've seen so far. I sincerely like the "Dictatorship of relativism" statement, and its made me think(which was I think, his whole idea).

But as an older bother of three younder siblings, I think I have a lot of sympathy and understanding for Father Georg Ratzinger, the "Brother of the Pope". This post comes from the recognition that no matter our status in the world, our accomplishments, our age, to our families, we will always be 5 years old and putting our elbows on the table at dinner and snakes in our sisters clothes.

Best of luck to both of them.

My parents still call and ask if I've lost the remotes to their TV or "dads tools in the yard". They live 1200 miles away and I havent been there in 6 months. And for the record mom-and-dad I havent lost a tool in the yard since 1968, so get over it will ya!

Posted @ April 20, 2005 09:57 AM | Current Affairs

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