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A Bedtime Story

Daddy, Whats a GULAG?

Well children, gather ‘round while I tell you a bedtime story of what a “gulag” is.

Once Upon a Time, there was a group of people who lived in a far away land called the “Soviet Union” the people that lived in this fairy tale land were called “ Communists”. Communists were very odd people indeed as they didn’t have castles and palaces, oh no children in fact in the land of communists, Palaces and Castles of all types were forbidden. And to make sure they were forbidden, the leaders of the communists confiscated the very best castles and palaces for their own use, lest their corrupting influences of wealth escape into the general populace.

Now Children, Communists were very odd people indeed. You see, Communists were deathly afraid of anyone who might be able to think for themselves and who might question the wisdom of the communist leaders. So they invented a system, called a corrective labor camp system, known by their Russian initials, G.U.L.A.G.

At first, Gulags were only for special prisoners but over time the system began to be used as a general punishment for any perceived crime against the state. It wasn’t long before the Gulags contained millions of people who were forced into these labor camps for the smallest of crimes and most arbitrary requirements by the leaders of the Communists. People were abused, tortured and forced into hard labor for decades at a time with no hope of eventually being freed. Rather than being allowed to go free at the end of their sentence, many prisoners were killed by firing squad.

While a person was a prisoner in the Gulag, they had no rights, no privileges, no access to legal staff or any rights to appeal their convictions. They were guaranteed no condition of their incarceration. They were housed in conditions that were less than that used for farm animals because children, to the Communists, that’s just what they were, animals, beast of burden to be used and thrown away at the behest of the communist leaders.

“But Dad, what happened to the Gulags?” said the little kid.

Well, one day a man named Ronald Reagan came along and he called the communists an “evil empire” and set the country on a path that would not cater to or accept the communists any longer. Unlike many of his predecessors, he didn’t want to learn to live with communists in peaceful coexistence, he wanted to see them and their nightmare reign of terror put to an end. Many people gasped at the rudeness of his statements and positions towards the Communists but those who were incarcerated behind the wires of the gulags thanked God that someone finally understood the evil that they have lived with for years. Then, all of a sudden and in the blink of an eye, the communists gave up as they finally realized that they had no hope to succeed in beating the west now that they had been exposed for the evil that they truly were.

“So, millions of people were put into communist labor and reeducations camps, tortured and then systematically exterminated to support an evil system that put the rights of the state over the people it governed and that was suppressing the rights of its very own citizens as a regular course of governmental action?” said the kid.

“Yes son, that’s correct” said Dad with an air of exasperation.

“So, if you don’t mind my asking dad, just what the heck was Irene Khan talking about when she said the United States is running the Gulag of our times. Doesnt the fact that she could say that without any fear of incarceration prove that she is full of it?" questioned the kid.

Well son, there are some things that a person is required to believe if they are to get into the right kinds of parties in Hollywood and Washington D.C. If your in an organization that makes its money from the gin soaked checkbooks of holier than thou liberal types, who frankly liked the Communists anyway and agreed with their methods no matter how murderous and harsh, then there is no better way to generate cash than to accuse the United States Government of the very crimes that dictatorships and communists have been doing all along. Youre just not going to generate alot of cash from those people if you stand up and say " Fidel Castro is the warden of a prison called Cuba ". Now if you say "Bush is Hitler" Checkbooks start popping open pretty fast.

You see, according to those people, The United States was really no better than the Soviet Union anyway, and to them, this is just proof of that idea. I guess that idea just helps them sleep better at night.

“Dad?”

“Yes my son?”

“Do you think people still eat lead paint chips?”

“Yes I do. Apparently they are served fairly regularly and in large doses at Amnesty International Fundraisers”.

Update: The Great Babalu tells-it-like-it-is.

Posted @ June 02, 2005 12:43 AM | Current Affairs

Posted by: E.K. at June 2, 2005 06:43 PM

Posted by: varifrank at June 2, 2005 07:39 PM