Varifrank: Syria: Assad to address Baath Party Conference.

Syria: Assad to address Baath Party Conference.

The 10th congress of al-Ba'ath Arab Socialist party is scheduled to be held in Damascus next week from June 6th running to June 9th.

( I guess this conference is "BYOB" - Bring your own Bomb...)

Gosh, It sure would be a shame if something were to happen to it, seeing as how I’m sure we have the GPS coordinates and all that. It would really be unfortunate if say an “accident” were to occur, I mean all that lost Saddam ammunition, all that insurgent activity going on next door in Iraq. You know how, ahem, careless Americans are with their weapons, seeing as how 100,000 civilians were killed in Iraq. Why, anything could happen.

(from the Pythons " The Army Protection Racket" Sketch)

Dino: Good morning, Bashir.
Bashir: Good morning gentlemen. Now what can I do for you.
Luigi: (looking round office casually) You've ... you've got a nice Baath party Conference going on here, Bashir.
Bashir: Yes.
Luigi: We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.
Bashir: What?
Dino: No, what my brother means is it would be a shame if... (he knocks something off mantel)
Bashir: Oh.
Dino: Oh sorry, Bashir.
Bashir: Well don't worry about that. But please do sit down.
Luigi: No, we prefer to stand, thank you, Bashir.
Bashir: All right. All right. But what do you want?
Dino: What do we want, ha ha ha.
Luigi: Ha ha ha, very good, Bashir.
Dino: Bashir's a joker, eh Luigi?
Luigi: Explain it to our friend Bashir, Dino.
Dino: How many T-72 tanks you got, Bashir?
Bashir: About five hundred altogether.
Luigi: Five hundred! Hey!
Dino: You ought to be careful, Bashir.
Bashir: We are careful, extremely careful.
Dino: 'Cos things break, don't they?
Bashir: Break?
Luigi: Well everything breaks, don't it Bashir. (he breaks something on desk) Oh dear.
Dino: Oh see my brother's clumsy Bashir, and when he gets unhappy he breaks things. Like say, he don't feel the Baath party is playing fair by him, he may start breaking things, Bashir.
Bashir: What is all this about?
Luigi: How many men you got here, Bashir?
Bashir: Oh, er ... seven thousand Baathist thugs, six hundred Baathist spies, and er, two divisions of murdering suicide bombers.
Luigi: “Insurgents”, Dino, “Insurgents”.
Dino: Be a shame if someone was to set fire to them.
Bashir: Set fire to them?
Luigi: Fires happen, Bashir.
Dino: Things burn.
Bashir: Look, what is all this about?
Dino: My brother and I have got a little proposition for you Bashir.
Luigi: Could save you a lot of bother.
Dino: I mean you're doing all right here aren't you, Bashir.
Luigi: Well suppose some of your SCUD missles were to get broken and your insurgents started getting lost, er, fights started breaking out during Red Cross and UN weapons inspections, like.
Dino: It wouldn't be good for business would it, Bashir?
Bashir: Are you threatening me?
Dino: Oh, no, no, no.
Luigi: Whatever made you think that, Bashir?
Dino: Bashir doesn't think we're nice people, Luigi.
Luigi: We're your buddies, Bashir.
Dino: We want to look after you.
Bashir: Look after me?
Luigi: We can guarantee you that not a single al-queda division will get done over for fifteen bob a week.
Bashir: No, no, no.
Luigi: Twelve and six.
Bashir: No, no, no.
Luigi: Eight and six ... five bob...
Bashir: No, no this is silly.

Posted @ June 05, 2005 11:41 AM | Current Affairs