« Whos Winning, Whos Losing, and Whos Crying | Main | Safe Simple Soon »

Nostradamus Predicts

No matter who is chosen by the President to replace Justice O'Connor, both sides will find a good reason to hate the new Supreme Court Justice. They will also not shut up about it for years.

We will watch a series of good people who have worked their lives in public service to the nation have the private contents of lives thrown into the dumpster of politics so that a bunch of not-so-good reprobates can feel politically relevent. So much for the honor of public service.

Hollywood actors will stand on stage and pontificate about subjects of which they no nothing, (like potential Supreme Court nomimees for example )yet they will get the bulk of the sound bites on network news as if they did. Strangely, these sound bites will occur just prior to a shocking expose on "whats wrong with our culture?" presented by the live-at-5 team for channel 7 ABC news. No one will find this odd but me.

Thanks to the political orientation of the news that interrupts the radio twice an hour with what they consider valid headlines, I will have to hear the following question asked by my children, "Daddy, whats abortion?". Thanks to Network news and the public education system, my kids now think the Supreme Court performs abortions, our current president is a time travelling chimpanzee named " hitler" who escaped from Germany in 1945 to the modern world, who no one likes but got elected anyway because Fox tv controls our minds and if you say his first name, "Bush", some people will fall on the ground and froth at the mouth, and the last President had a secretary who lived under his desk and who left her blue dress over his house by accident. If I've told them once I've told them a thousand times, please stop watching CNN...

The first nomination, whoever it is and no matter how qualified and generally outstanding as a Jurist, will not make it through the nomination process, eventually being forced to drop out 'for personal reasons". The second will go into meltdown over a trival molehill sized personal issue blown up to Mount Everest proportions and will politely withdrawl ( on a Friday, after 3:00 Pacific). The third, who will also be the worst of the three nominations will make it through not because of qualification but because of the fatigue of the aged infirmed members of the Senate simply running out of gas.Two weeks later, Chief Justice Rhenquist will resign. Walter Reed Hospital will run out of B-12 shots and Supplemental Oxygen for the Members of Congress.

Howard Dean will say something really,really dumb. John Kerry will also, only none of us will be able to make sense of what he says,except the part where he thinks we are all rubes for voting for Bush.

Nancy Pelosi will lose her train of thought in mid rant against the Bush Administration and its policies. No one will notice.

Harry Reid will not provide the cunning gutter level leadership or backstabbing ruthlessness we came to expect from Tom Daschle. Network news will interview Tom Daschle as if he were still in the Senate.

Senator Chuck Schumer will at some point during his never ending monologue for no one but himself,over the top of his glasses, question one of the nominees on their stance on the second amendment,acting as if it the Second Amendment really wasnt in the Constitution. But wait, thats not the prediction, the prediction is he will do it while he impersonates the voice and manner of Vincent Price, only without the madhouse giggle at the end of his questioning.

Ann Coulter will say something to inflame the Democrats. I will laugh intensely. I will wonder who she has to sleep with to get a Supreme Court nomination. I will feel ashamed at even thinking such a thing. I will work on my inner dialogue...

Glenn Reynolds will say 'indeed' at least once in the next 30 days and reference Tom Maguire daily, if not hourly as the upcoming circus unfolds.

Robert Byrd will remind us all every single day why 'foghorn leghorn' was such a funny Warner Brothers cartoon, and yet still managed to make more sense than the Jurassic Senator from West Virginia.

Posted @ July 01, 2005 03:17 PM | Current Affairs