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Former Bush Supporter Criticizes Presidents Hurricane Response

A lawsuit was filed today in 9th Federal District court against the Bush Administration by Superman, a former Bush supporter who is also known as the "man of steel". The complaint brought forth by the Krypton born superhero is that President Bush is now being asked to control the weather and to save people from floods which violates the role of the Federal Government as set forth in the Constitution.

“Controlling the weather is my job” says the man of steel “ I kept trying to shore up those Mississippi levees after they broke, but every time I showed up there was some guy with the Coast Guard telling me that he "had it handled". I nearly hit at least a dozen Navy helicopters while trying to rescue folks in New Orleans. I can't tell you how dangerous it is trying to dodge those things, its damn dangerous out there, even for me!”. The Krypton born superhero was quoted from his “fortress of solitude“ saying that "As of late, no one looks to the Superheroes in the Justice League for support anymore". He also stated "Everyone just thinks that President Bush is a superhero, capable of great feats of strength and superpowers that rival any of those found in the Justice League of America, well its bull people!. I'm hear to tell you, he's just a normal everyday guy. Why he doesn't even have tights or a cape!"

“The day I see President Bush tie a railroad track into a bowtie, that’s when I’ll be impressed. But for now, he’s just another guy with ambitions way beyond his abilities.”

Superman issued this angry screed in response to reporters who questioned why Superman was slow on the response to the Hurricane.

He said:

“Listen, I got more than one thing going on here, there’s Mole Men breaking out of their tunnels in New Mexico, there’s Lex Luthor and his latest scheme, General Zod and his; how about a little prioritization here people? I'm out busting my ass trying to save you from threats from the 9th dimension you’d think you could deal with a little water an sewage without going all wiggly at the knees. Yeah its real funny how its always "Oh Superman save us!, oh Superman move that comet to a different orbit!, oh superman help me pl-pl-pl-please save me, I’m going to be late to work, can you go back and spin the earth backwards so we all go back in time so I wont get my pay docked. Honestly folks, it just never stops".

Later, he was quoted as saying:
"Why don’t you go to Aquaman and ask him why HE was slow on the response to the hurricane. “Prince of the deep?” my blue tight wearing ass... “Prince asleep on the sofa” is more like it. Gumby and Pokey have more superpowers than that limp wristed freak of nature".

Aquaman could not be reached for a response to this comment from Superman.

Posted @ September 12, 2005 12:49 PM | Current Affairs

Posted by: Maureen at September 12, 2005 04:34 PM

Posted by: OBloodyHell at September 15, 2005 10:58 PM