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Dear Wormwood

I’m writing to tell you how pleased I am with your recent work with the Republican Party. In just two weeks you managed to take a juggernaut of political power and send its constituents running into the woods like scared rabbits. All of this is because of a whisper in the ear to our patient, Karl Rove that the President should nominate Harriet Miers. That’s all it took to destroy one of the finest coalitions in American political history.

Now the various Republican factions are busy tearing themselves apart, while our allies in the Democrat party sit back and laugh; watching the right wing attack the further right wing in a battle which will surely leave both so wounded they wont be able to withstand even a modest assault from our allies, the Democrats. After this lovely period of cultural internecine warfare, will the evangelicals turn out in large enough numbers to overturn our allies’ efforts? That seems unlikely now that we’ve helped expose the prejudice against Christians that exists even within the Republicans own party. And will the east coast country club Republicans set aside their dislike of the west coast cowboy Republicans? That also seems very unlikely now that the two have been reminded of their long-standing dislike and distrust of the other. There is nothing that serves our side better than a good civil war. Remember how long we managed to milk the Goldwater and Birch society platforms for all they were worth? Ah, those were the days…

Before long the firebrand Patrick J. Buchanan will denounce the President as a man who has betrayed the sacred name of Ronald Reagan, and the sons, daughter and wife of Reagan will agree with him on the Larry King show. Patrick will receive his reward for his work in dissention, as the warm glow of the camera light will fill his dark soul once again. Be sure to send him a thank you note when you get a chance. There’s nothing that helps our side more than eloquent and inept losers, and Patrick J. Buchanan is the very archetype of that model.

We must continue to re-enforce the idea that “losing is really a virtue” in the minds of these people; this is precisely the formula that allowed our Democratic allies to win for 45 years. We must remind the party loyalists that it is only “The Bush Family” that stands in the way of draconian immigration laws they desire. We must remind them of the failures of Bush the elder and effectively tie the failures of that administration on to this administration. We must make people pine for the good old days of Reagan and forget the bad old days of Clinton. We must make them think of the current Bush as a failure, not because of what he did accomplish, but against the unachievable things he could not and did not achieve. Remember my dear Wormwood; the concept of “heaven” serves our side as well as the Christians. It reminds the humans of what they don’t have and allows us to help them find a scapegoat to blame for not having it.

We must continue to make “the right” feel betrayed by the “other right” at every opportunity. We have an opening here that we should drive a wedge into and we should exploit it to the highest degree. Let no division go unexploited in the breach that Mrs. Miers has revealed to us and to the world.

For a moment, I was worried that things were going to go badly for our side now that America and the western world has effectively won the war against tyranny in Iraq. With Saddam on trial, and the voting of the Iraqi secular constitution, our side was about to suffer the worst defeat in 40 years. However, with your brilliant move of marginalizing our patient Karl Rove by allowing him to speak to a New York Times reporter, you have helped provide us with the greatest opening in history. How did you know that he would later beg us to be free of this problem? How convenient that you just happened to be there to exploit this little weakness by promising him that you would eliminate the problem if he did you “a little favor”. The way he leaped at the chance when you suggested that he just whisper to the President that he nominate his old friend Harriet Miers. A fair bargain indeed…

That was just pure genius my apprentice, absolute pure genius. Well done!

I will be in your area in the coming weeks as I collect the wretched soul of a certain George O’Dowd. Perhaps we can have lunch together? My treat.

Yours,

Screwtape.

( With apologies to Mr. C.S. Lewis...)

Posted @ October 10, 2005 05:22 PM | Current Affairs

Posted by: tmt at October 10, 2005 08:11 PM