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EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! CIA Secret Prison Network!

Low Level aerial photos have revealed this CIA Prison somewhere in "Eastern Europe".

This man, AKA "John Drake" or AKA "Number 6" or " Akeem Abdul",

has revealed to the worlds press and the UN Human Rights Commission, that at this location he was repeatedly asked for "information" in a way that was clearly outside of the protocols of the geneva convention. "John Drake" or "Akeem" as he prefers to be called, has also revealed that at no point in his incarceration was he afforded access to legal assistance and access to recreational facilties was repeatedly blocked by the "large white ballon" which this reporter has been told are actually the souless robotic guards for this installation and not the Senior Senator from Massachusetts as one would assume.

"John Drake" escaped the facility known as "the village" and reported directly to the UN Human Rights Commission. His handwritten map of the facility is being used by the UN to help locate it for the authorities. Syria, Cuba and North Korea have called for a joint session of the Security Council in order that the issue of the secret CIA Detention facilities, like the one in which innocent Islamic men like "John Drake" have long suffered can be closed once and for all...

What the hell happened to the CIA? Once upon a time, they could overthrow countries, fake moon landings, shoot presidents in Dallas and plant fake evidence on patsys with regularity, now they cant even keep a few offsite prisons secret from the press.

How hard can it be? cmon guys, its a little detention center fergawds sake...

Does anyone else remember the good old days? when like in "three days of the Condor" where the CIA ran entire spy analyst operations right in the middle of town, who all get killed ( by others in the CIA no less!) and no one notices a thing? Howard Hughes actually built an entire spy ship and deployed it for the CIA. "Air America", jeez! an entire freakin airline. Whats more, IT MADE A PROFIT WHILE STILL DOING ITS SECRET MISSION!!! try that today and someones nose would get all out of joint that the CIA wasnt using union labor and as a result would be violating Davis/Bacon and they would have to shut the whole thing down. Spy satellite programs, Lockheed A-12 and U-2 Spyplanes, Targeted assassinations, blackmail and coersion of unfriendly governments, now THAT is a CIA.

I get the feeling that either the recruitment standards at "the Company" have fallen, or the staff at Langley just dont feel like trying very hard these days. Ok, the "Hellfire Armed Predator Drone" is cool and thanks for the excellent job on Afghanistan, but its just doesnt mean as much if we have to ask you to do those things, its your job, we shouldnt have to ask you to do it, it should just get done, ok? Its like you made us sign in triplicate that it was "Ok" to tip over the outhouse that was the Taliban. Gosh, do you think it was ok? I sure do, so why did we even have to ask to get the obvious done. Poof, gone! Why is Chavez still in power? He's Castro with oil you meatheads! Now go induce a little "President Gamel Nasser" Style middle of the night heart attack for him and let's go put that problem out, ok? I dont want to be talking about him with my grandkids like we do now with castro. I dont want have Castro die of old age only to be replaced with "Hugo".

Ok, Im sorry about the whole "Church Commission" thing but that was so long ago, cant we move on now? We said were wrong, we said were sorry, now could you please get back into being the malevolent bastards we expect you to be and not the overpaid hourly accountants youve become, ok?

I liked the CIA that killed people and overthrew governments just for the practice and sport of it. This new "accountants" CIA can stay home for all the good it does. For all we know, Kim il Jung could be in his secret hollowed out volcano right now, and would the CIA have someone in there? No... of course not, because "oh, boohoo that would be wrong and we might get into trouble"...

The CIA I grew up with would have had the brains and the balls to PLANT some WMDS and not let the President and the country get a bad reputation because it got moved to Syria in the middle of the night. The CIA I know would have shot Osama in the head 24 hours after the WTC fell then replayed the video on a loop while handing out cigars in the lobby of the main building of Langley.

Gentlemen, a little less "Valery Plame" and a little more "Wild Bill" if you please...

UPDATE: If you never watched the TV show "The Prisoner", then the first part of this post isnt going to work for you...

Posted @ November 03, 2005 12:18 AM | Current Affairs