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Fisking Osama

From todays message from Osama. I Hereby Commit "A Fisking".

The Transcript taken from the BBC Translation page.

My comments are in Bold...

My message to you is about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the way to end it.

Well now, that’s interesting. Saying “way to end it” is significantly different that pounding on your chest and talking about victory.

I had not intended to speak to you about this issue, because, for us, this issue is already decided on: diamonds cut diamonds.

Diamonds cut diamonds? What the hell does that mean? Either A) We (Bush and I) are both strong warriors or B) Only I am strong enough to take on the great Satan. Which one is it? I don’t know. But lets listen for other signs of what’s going on behind the scenes.

Praise be to God, our conditions are always improving and becoming better, while your conditions are to the contrary of this.

He’s talking to us now. He’s setting the stage.

However, what prompted me to speak are the repeated fallacies of your President Bush in his comment on the outcome of the US opinion polls, which indicated that the overwhelming majority of you want the withdrawal of the forces from Iraq, but he objected to this desire and said that the withdrawal of troops would send a wrong message to the enemy.

Osama apparently is a subscriber to the New York Times. I think the war would be over tomorrow if the man had a laptop, internet access and a blog aggregator.He is watching us, and its his opinion that we are a divided group.

Bush said: It is better to fight them on their ground than they fighting us on our ground.
In my response to these fallacies, I say: The war in Iraq is raging, and the operations in Afghanistan are on the rise in our favour, praise be to God.
And I say to you Osama, you didn’t answer your own question. If we are fighting in Iraq, is that not what Bush set out to do, and you have yet to stop us from doing?

The Pentagon figures indicate the rise in the number of your dead and wounded, let alone the huge material losses, and let alone the collapse of the morale of the soldiers there and the increase in the suicide cases among them.
Don’t’cha dig it when Osama talks in Washington-speak? “Pentagon figures”? Who talks like that? More importantly, note that he talks about the “huge material losses” and the “collapse of morale”. Again, someone is getting a monthly DNC newsletter with a hand written “thank you for your contribution” note attached to it.

So, just imagine the state of psychological breakdown that afflicts the soldier while collecting the remnants of his comrades' dead bodies after they hit mines, which torn them. Following such situation, the soldier becomes between two fires. If he refuses to go out of his military barracks for patrols, he will face the penalties of the Vietnam butcher, and if he goes out, he will face the danger of mines.
Well Osama, why don't you try to imagine this; a “friend” invites you to dinner in the next village and just as you sit down to eat, the next thing you know the building explodes around you as a missile fired from a flying robotic drone that’s been watching your every move for weeks flies unfettered overhead. Or how about this for size, how about living in a cave with goats and rats for 3 years while US Army Sharpshooters sit 3 miles away with 50 caliber rifles and shoot anything to goes in or out of it; or how about hunkering down under the barrage sent down from an AC-130 Gunship. How about being forced to send badly recorded audio tapes to Al-Jazaera from payphones in Peshawar to get your message out while the average slacker in the western world can send a post halfway around the world without leaving his sofa. How about waking up every day and seeing contrails in the sky, knowing that not one of them will ever be from planes controlled by you and yours? How about losing and losing and losing for 5 long years, not just Afghanistan, but Iraq, and Lebanon and Libya? How’s that feel anyway? Hey, what does Napalm smell like anyway? Does it really smell like victory like they say? Well it probably doesn’t when it gets dumped on you, now does it. Hows that for "imagining the state of psychological breakdown?"

So, he is between two bitter situations, something which puts him under psychological pressure - fear, humiliation, and coercion. Moreover, his people are careless about him. So, he has no choice but to commit suicide.

Yes, of course. Just like all those Marines that all committed suicide around the Baghdad airport when they were slaughtered by the thousands by the Great Saddam, ah yes “Stalingrad on the Tigris”, I remember it well.

What you hear about him and his suicide is a strong message to you, which he wrote with his blood and soul while pain and bitterness eat him up so that you would save what you can save from this hell. However, the solution is in your hand if you care about them.

This dear reader, is just plain weird. He really REALLY thinks things are going spectacularly bad for us. There’s an old management saying about “ the fish rots from the head down” and I think it applies here. I wonder if Osama is suffering from his people giving him the information that he wants to hear because he does not allow anyone around him to give him contrary information which he may find upsetting. An interesting dynamic to study in Business School; “ The culture and management of an International Terrorist Cadre”.

The news of our brother mujahideen, however, is different from what is published by the Pentagon.

Oh, of course it is! Because “The Pentagon” goes out of its way to rarely, if ever, discuss enemy casualties except at the periphery of the story. “Would that it were” that the Pentagon would start to publish the actual numbers of Jihadis that are killed in battle. Notice he says “The Pentagon”, as if it were in charge of and controlled the spread of information. This is a fundamental misunderstanding that many many people make about how our system works.

This news indicates that what is carried by the news media does not exceed what is actually taking place on the ground. What increases doubts on the information of the White House's administration is its targeting of the news media, which carry some facts about the real situation.

Neither of these sentences makes any sense, so I’m assuming that its some form of translation anomaly. I think he’s upset about the media,. (Get in line pal…) yet he uses opinion polls in the media to reinforce his statements about how things are going.

Documents have recently showed that the butcher of freedom in the world [US President Bush] had planned to bomb the head office of al-Jazeera Space Channel in the state of Qatar after he bombed its offices in Kabul and Baghdad, although despite its defects, it is [Al-Jazeera] one of your creations.

Again with the “Document have recently showed”? Who talks like that? Michael Moore talks like that, Harry Reid talks like that, Sean Penn talks like that, and now apparently so does Osama! Now what’s he talking about, he’s talking about the now discredited account of the US wanting to bomb the Al-Jazeera headquarters. This is significant because it gives us a good timeline for when he was alive to hear that message. I like the mental image the phrase “butcher of freedom”. Somehow I think that Osama thinks “Bush The Butcher” deals strictly in pork products.

Jihad is continuing, praise be to God, despite all the repressive measures the US army and its agents take to the point where there is no significant difference between these crimes and those of Saddam.

Wow. Saddam committed Crimes? Shhh. Don’t tell Ramsey Clark!

These crimes include the raping of women and taking them hostage instead of their husbands. There is no power but in God.

Maybe “Rape” doesn’t translate across very well here. Because I remember the way they were repeatedly "raped" by being forced to vote in elections for the first time ever. I remember how they were "raped" by taking city council seats for the first time ever. I remember how they were "raped" by becoming full citizens of their country instead of glorified farm animals like you would like them to be, oh great and mighty Osama.

The torturing of men has reached the point of using chemical acids and electric drills in their joints. If they become desperate with them, they put the drill on their heads until death.

Note to self: Buy more 'Black and Decker' stock right away.

If you like, read the humanitarian reports on the atrocities and crimes in the prisons of Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo.

Oh and rest assured Osama, we will! You see we here in the “decadent West” CAN read! We can also disagree without fear for our lives. And get this buddy, EVEN OUR WOMEN CAN READ! Let's try that with the people you pretend to protect, shall we? Whats the Arab Muslim world at for percentage of the population being literate? What, 2 out of 10? Oh, I know, the numbers go up if you don’t include women. Well you see pal,that’s the thing, we do include women. We include them so much in our lives that one of the "terrible terrible people" who did the "torture" at Abu Ghraib was also a woman. And the commander, yeah, you got it - a Woman. You want to do something for Islam? Try opening a school to teach people how to read, like weve been doing in Iraq and Afghanistan for example, instead of trying to kill everyone who doesnt agree with you.

You remember "women" dont'cha Osama? Those are the things your pals in the Taliban used to take out for target practice in the Kabul Stadium back in the "salad days" of the Jihad. Ah, those were the days, werent they? Go head and talk to me about “Humanitarianism”, see if I care. When the word pops out of the mouth of a butchering madman like yourself, its like getting dating tips from Ted Bundy. I notice we didn’t have to elbow you out of the way to help Muslims after the Tsunami. What?, you could even send a crate of bottled water to your fellow Muslims? Shame on you. Be a man and admit you dropped the ball on that one. Chalk it up to Allahs will and all that.

I say that despite all the barbaric methods, they have failed to ease resistance, and the number of mujahideen, praise be to God, is increasing.

And they are also dying in increasing numbers, more and more at the hands of other Arabs who hate your guys even more than they hate us "decadent infidels", but we'll get to that later.

In fact, reports indicate that the defeat and devastating failure of the ill-omened plan of the four - Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz - and the announcement of this defeat and working it out, is only a matter of time, which is to some extent linked to the awareness of the American people of the magnitude of this tragedy.

Apparently Osama voted for Gore.

The wise ones know that Bush has no plan to achieve his alleged victory in Iraq.

You mean the plan where he takes an Army of 150,000 men 400 miles across a desert and two rivers in hostile enemy country, captures intact a "Key Capital City of the Arab Muslim" world; which immediately causes Libya to give up its Nuclear programs out of fear of the same thing happening to them and also allows Lebanon to overthrow its Syrian overlords, then goes on to helps the Iraqis create a secular modern Democracy all without the help of the UN and then he manages to gets re-elected afterwards, all while having the fastest expanding American economy since 1945?

Yeah, that all happened by accident. Happenstance. Kismet. Karma even.

Saddam was on his way out anyway and would have gone fast if we had only left him alone. Democracy in the middle east was well under way until Bush came in and muddied the water with all this talk of "victory". The Taliban?, poorly understood young men of society who are actually very similar to our own Jaycees. They only wanted what was best for Muslims. Their methods might have been poor, but they "meant well". Feh...

If you compare the small number of the dead when Bush made that false and stupid show-like announcement from an aircraft carrier on the end of the major operations, to many times as much as this number of the killed and injured, who fell in the minor operations, you will know the truth in what I am saying, and that Bush and his administration do not have neither the desire nor the will to withdraw from Iraq for their own dubious reasons.

Wow. It finally hit me why Bush went into Iraq. Bush went into Iraq just because it bugs the living crap out of Osama. Jealousy – thy name is Osama. Hey, you dont have any of those Aircraft Carrier thingies to make your own "false and stupid show-like announcements" from do you? Oh thats a shame, because we have 12. Basically, we have one for every month of the year and they have nothing to do every-single-day but look for your skanky goat loving ass.

To go back to where I started, I say that the results of the poll satisfy sane people and that Bush's objection to them is false.

Can you dig that! He sounds like Kerry getting upset about the Ohio Exit Poll Projections versus the actual counts of the votes! Next thing you know, he’s going to start talking about how “We need to investigate voting in Ohio”

Reality testifies that the war against America and its allies has not remained confined to Iraq, as he claims.

You are right, it also goes into Lebanon (which you lost) Afghanistan (which you lost) Pakistan (which you lost) Kuwait (which you lost) United Arab Emirates (which you lost), Qatar ( which you lost), Indonesia (Which you lost), Libya (which you lost)

In fact, Iraq has become a point of attraction and recruitment of qualified resources.

That’s true, apparently Election Poll watchers and vote tabulators in Iraq is now the fastest expanding area of employment.

On the other hand, the mujahideen, praise be to God, have managed to breach all the security measures adopted by the unjust nations of the coalition time and again.

and once they do "breach Security Measures" they are often promptly killed, en masse. I wonder if Osama wants to publish his recruitment and retention figures like the US Army does. I wonder if Slate will do a nice “why our troops are dolts” piece for Osamas highly qualified Mujahdeen?

The evidence of this is the bombings you have seen in the capitals of the most important European countries of this aggressive coalition.

One – Spain. 300 killed. Spain elections go towards socialist who like all socialists, immediately surrenders.

Two – London. Impact to war - Zip. Hard to threaten people with a few sticks of C-4 when they have been bombed from the air by Hitler for 6 years and the IRA for 70 years.

This, is what he points to as a "success". I might consider calling it a "Jihadi quagmire" but that would be mean.

As for the delay in carrying out similar operations in America, this was not due to failure to breach your security measures.

Oh of course not. It was due to his deep and personal love for the people of America that caused the delay.

Operations are under preparation, and you will see them on your own ground once they are finished, God willing.

We are watching. We are listening and every single day we get closer to capturing your coal black soul, you’ll know its us by the whoosh of the helicopter blades over your head. Sleep well...

Based on the above, we see that Bush's argument is false. However, the argument that he avoided, which is the substance of the results of opinion polls on withdrawing the troops, is that it is better not to fight the Muslims on their land and for them not to fight us on our land.

Opinion Polls? We talk Missiles, firepower, boots on the ground. He talks about how “Well, The New York Times Sez…” He sounds like fricken Maureen Dowd.

We do not object to a long-term truce with you on the basis of fair conditions that we respect.

Now we come to the whole point of this entire message. Truce.

He is not offering it to us, but if we were to lighten up and offer it to him, he says he would agree not to kill us anymore.

We are a nation, for which God has disallowed treachery and lying.

However, Allahs support of genocidal tyrants and butchery of civilians is considered perfectly "ok".

In this truce, both parties will enjoy security and stability and we will build Iraq and Afghanistan, which were destroyed by the war.

Second time he says "truce". You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. Iraq and Afghanistan. I’ll say this for Osama, he says “Afghanistan” more than Democrats do.

There is no defect in this solution other than preventing the flow of hundreds of billions to the influential people and war merchants in America, who supported Bush's election campaign with billions of dollars.
Howard Dean, Call your Office. Someone stole your blackberry.

Hence, we can understand the insistence of Bush and his gang to continue the war.
Future News Flash – Bush announces intent to Run for 3rd term. Osama found in garage with door closed and car running.

If you have a genuine will to achieve security and peace, we have already answered you.

Translation: please stop hurting me. Our Response? to put another shift on where those fancy flying robot killers are made.

If Bush declines but to continue lying and practicing injustice [against us], it is useful for you to read the book of "The Rogue State", the introduction of which reads: If I were a president, I would halt the operations against the United States.

I’m already looking this up on Amazon. This is amazing. Is he talking about the Chomsky Book “Rogue States”. Oh wouldn’t THAT be precious! Osama writes liner notes to Chomskys next book!

First, I will extend my apologies to the widows, orphans, and the persons who were tortured. Afterwards, I will announce that the US interference in the world's countries has ended for ever. But more importantly...

I note again the need for this question, Is Osama actually jealous of Bush?

Finally, I would like to tell you that the war is for you or for us to win. If we win it, it means your defeat and disgrace forever as the wind blows in this direction with God's help.

Well clearly something "blows" here, but its not the wind if you catch my drift.

If you win it, you should read the history. We are a nation that does not tolerate injustice and seek revenge forever.

You might win, but you will still lose because then we can win. Psychotic.

Days and nights will not go by until we take revenge as we did on 11 September, God willing, and until your minds are exhausted and your lives become miserable and things turn [for the worse], which you detest.

News Flash Osama: 5 years into the war - Dow at 11,000. GDP 3.5% Sales of SUVs at all time high. Wealth of Americans at its all time highest levels in history. Biggest American complaint so far is the lack of content for HDTV and a discernable plot of ABC's "Lost".

As for us, we do not have anything to lose. The swimmer in the sea does not fear rain. You have occupied our land, defiled our honour, violated our dignity, shed our blood, ransacked our money, demolished our houses, rendered us homeless, and tampered with our security. We will treat you in the same way.

But, I thought we were losing? If we have done all that and you haven’t stopped us, how could we be losing? And “tampered with our security” doesn’t belong on the list. Its like saying ‘ you burned down my house, killed my family, raped my dog, and dammit, you left the refrigerator door open.

You tried to deny us the decent life, but you cannot deny us a decent death. Refraining from performing jihad, which is sanctioned by our religion, is an appalling sin. The best way of death for us is under the shadows of swords.

Well, we only carry swords for fancy dinner parties; however if you would like to die in a hail of depleted uranium shells, please make an appointment with the United States Air Force for one of their fine aircraft to render you into fertilizer at the first possible opportunity.

Do not be deluded by your power and modern weapons. Although they win some battles, they lose the war. Patience and steadfastness are better than them. What is important is the outcome.

For once in my life, I agree with Osama.

We have been tolerant for 10 years in fighting the Soviet Union with our few weapons and we managed to drain their economy.

Dude, We are not the Soviet Union. You might notice that we beat them too, only we didn’t get ground into paste doing it like you did.

They became history, with God's help.
And a little nudge from Ronald Reagan thankyouverymuch oh and about 500,000 steely-eyed Members of US Armed Services.

You should learn lessons from that. We will remain patient in fighting you, God willing, until the one whose time has come dies first. We will not escape the fight as long as we hold our weapons in our hands.

And we will keep living and expanding our influence around the world, while you and your hillbilly cousins have a reach that expands only to the range of your rifles. We build cities, spaceships and little tiny telephones. You build coffins and over the last 5 years you build them increasingly only for yourselves.

I swear not to die but a free man even if I taste the bitterness of death. I fear to be humiliated or betrayed.

Humiliated, like say the humiliation of Saddam? Or Humilated Like Al-libbi?, or Khalid Shiek Mohammed? Please be specific because we are measuring your cell for curtains as we speak.

Peace be upon those who follow guidance.

Die, you gravy sucking pig.

UPDATE: Rogue State By Blum, Not Chomsky. Blum, in all his leftist America hating glory protested againt our attack on Afghanistan. This cat goes way back in the land of leftist hate of America. Where is there a connection between Osama and the left? Well Osama just gave it to us, Osama apparently subscribes to the Mother Jones' Book of the Month Club. When you hear Osama bleat, its to a tune written by Marx( Karl, not Groucho).

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