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NSA Releases transcript of warrant-less wiretap


The NSA has released a transcript of an intercepted phone call from possible al-queda operative and a domestic phone number. I think this transcript makes clear why some people are so hesitant to have any sort of NSA wiretaps in the US.

SNIP...

Unidentified foreign caller: Uh, hello, is this Stephanie? It’s Dr. Z, how are you my darling? Say, is my man Howard in the house?

1st Domestic receiver: Oh yes Dr. Z its good to hear you are doing ok. Let me put you right through.

Unidentified foreign caller: Oh, Thank you dear. And my wife would like me to tell you that your Banana Bread recipe was wonderful and we thank you. Allah be praised, you will be last up against the wall when the Jihad finally comes to America.

1st Domestic receiver: Oh why thank you Dr. Z, I really do appreciate that.

< Call transferred. >

2nd Domestic receiver: Hello? Howard here.

Unidentified foreign caller: Howard?, Dr. Z here. How are you my friend?

2nd Domestic receiver: How am I? I’m broke that’s how I am. You’d think that someone on my staff would have had the sense to trademark that damn “yelp” I let out on the campaign for a little extra cash, but no. Damn socialists never miss a chance to lose money.

Unidentified foreign caller: Don’t I know it. Say listen Howard; I need you to help me "pump up" this little Jihad video I have to make in a few minutes. Your man George went and totally wrecked my summer house in Waziristan last week, and I have to respond or the “band of brothers” here will start to think I’m weak or something.

2nd Domestic receiver: Yeah, what happened with that?

Unidentified foreign caller: Hey, how do I know, we just about had the fondue ready to go, Ali had the pot of cheese boiling real good and so I get up to go take a leak and I’m walking out to the outhouse and BOOM! up goes the whole house in a flash! At first I thought it was just a bad can of propane but when the Predator began doing barrel rolls overhead, I knew it was one of those infernal killer robots you guys created.

2nd Domestic receiver: Buddy, that was close. You’re ok though, right?

Unidentified foreign caller: Oh sure, I just moved in with the old ladies mother for a bit, you know she’s an old nag, but she’s nice enough I guess. She keeps the beer on ice, cooks the lamb a little spicy for my tastes, but she doesn’t fall to the floor and yell “PREDATOR!!!” every time someone starts a lawnmower like Ali and the boys used to do.

2nd Domestic receiver: Ok lay it on me Z-man. I gotta rush this one out with you because “Teddy and the boys” are in the Senate right now putting a new face on the phrase “pointless, pathetic and impotent” which as you know, has become the new catchphrase party motto around here, and I have to get some sort of face saving press release out or the old ladies wont send us any more money. Nobody loves a loser, you know what I mean?

Unidentified foreign caller: Oh man. Howard I just have to say, every time I think I’m hosed, I just have to look at your situation and I get myself cheered right up. You are so screwed man!

2nd Domestic receiver: Yeah, keep a cot in the cave open for me; I think I’m going to need it.

Unidentified foreign caller: Ok, so let me ask you, does "Butcher Bush" sound worse than “Bush the Bumbler”.

2nd Domestic receiver: hmmm, tough call. We sort of wore out our knees with the “Bumbler Bush” thing and we never got anywhere with it so you probably want to go with “Bush the Butcher” but knowing that guy, he’ll turn it into some “badge of honor”.

Unidentified foreign caller: He sucks doesn’t he? He just drives me crazy.

2nd Domestic receiver: He does suck, and he drives ME crazy. I can’t believe I’m losing to that guy.

Unidentified foreign caller: Dude, you lost to Kerry.

2nd Domestic receiver: Do you want my help or don’t you?

Unidentified foreign caller: Oh sorry. Sore point. I didn’t mean to go there…

End Snip...


Posted @ January 30, 2006 04:48 PM | Current Affairs

Comments

Heh. You've got a future in comedy, Frank.

Posted by: rws at January 30, 2006 09:59 PM

Good one, Frank.

Posted by: OhBloodyHell at January 31, 2006 02:09 PM

Brilliant--a scream.

Posted by: No Oil for Pacifists at January 31, 2006 03:44 PM

Think the caller once connected to Howard
would have begun with:

UNIDENTIFIED FOREIGN CALLER:
Howard, my brother,
you asked so I'm giving you the chance.
Rove's giving me 10 million, direct deposit
to my Dubai account. Bonus bucks if I add
some more Butcher Bush phrases.

So, Howard, my friend what's you're offer.?

It'll cost you for me to pretend to be afraid
of Pelosi and Kennedy. Reid's off your list,
right? So you want Biden and Kerry?

Are you there Howard?

MOAN HEARD FROM 2ND DOMESTIC CALLER

I'll need at least 13 million for that.
Good speech writers cost big bucks around
here.

I'm waiting. No Howard!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! SCREAMS HEARD FOR 2ND DOMESTIC
CALLER

You know my ears are sensitive right now.
Praise Allah I had to take a piss.

I don't hear your offer, buddy?

MORE GROANS

Last chance - put up or shut up, I know
you have money problems.

MORE GROANS

What about Hillary???

LOUDER GROANING

No I.O.U's Howard.

GROANS TURN TO WHIMPERS
(ANALYIST NOTE: Is there a crossed line here?
one of those secret CIA prisons?)

Gotta go, Karl's on the other line.

SOBBING, SOBBING CONTINUES

IT DEPT: NO CROSSED LINES!


We'll do lunch when you get your act together.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

NEW SUBJECT:
On January 28, 2006 at 06:39 PM at the JustOne
Minute website, the denizens of the comment
section began the Kronicalization of the wonders
of Mr. Rove. Take a look if you want to LOL.
Begins right after the 6:39PM (Pacific Time)
comment.

Click here: JustOneMinute: Take The Money And Run
http://justoneminute.typepad.com/main/2006/01/take_the_money_.html#comment-13422759

Posted by: larwyn at February 5, 2006 03:06 PM