What crossed my mind...

JFK.jpg

On October 22, 1962, President Kennedy announced what would come to be known to history as the Cuban Missile crisis. It was a sober and direct message explaining to the American people the direct, specific and dangerous actions that were being taken by the enemy against this country and an outline of what our country would expect in response from the russians. It was a serious time, handled by serious people. During this mornings Press Conference with President Bush, the following scenario crossed my mind:

What if President Kennedy faced this lame-assed Press Corp that we have today, during the Cuban Missile Crisis?

What follows is how that might have played out.

...Snip
JFK:My fellow citizens: let no one doubt that this is a difficult and dangerous effort on which we have set out. No one can see precisely what course it will take or what costs or casualties will be incurred. Many months of sacrifice and self-discipline lie ahead -- months in which our patience and our will will be tested -- months in which many threats and denunciations will keep us aware of our dangers. But the greatest danger of all would be to do nothing.
The path we have chosen for the present is full of hazards, as all paths are -- but it is the one most consistent with our character and courage as a nation and our commitments around the world. The cost of freedom is always high -- and Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that Is the path of surrender or submission.
Our goal is not the victory of might, but the vindication of right -- not peace at the expense of freedom, but both peace and freedom, here in this hemisphere, and, we hope, around the world. God willing, that goal will be achieved.
Thank you and good night.

Reporter: President Kennedy – a few questions if you please?

JFK: Certainly, you there, second row.

Reporter: Sir, can you please clarify for us your relationship, if there is one, with Marilyn Monroe?

JFK: I thought we were going to talk about Cuba? Can we stay on subject here? Marilyn is a great artist and a friend of the family. Next question.

Reporter: Sir, about your health. Some White House sources say that your back condition is much more serious than you have revealed publically, is there any truth to that?

JFK: Cuba gentleman, Cuba. Atomic Missiles 90 miles away?, can we please stay on topic here hmmm?. Ok, next question.

Reporter: Sir, many pundits have opined that “Jackie” is spending far too much in the renovation of the White House, do you care to comment on that?

JFK: First, its Mrs. Kennedy, not “Jackie” and second, for Gods sake gentleman, can we please focus?

Reporter: Sir, There have been allegations of direct ties to the mafia to a close friend of yours, an entertainer known as Mr. Francis Albert Sinatra. You have even been seen publically with him with on several occasions. Several reporters have also noted that he has been an active financial supporter of your administration, including running many fund raising efforts that netted several hundred thousand dollars for your presidential campaign. Sir, are these allegations true and will you now formerly denounce the mafia and your association with it and will you return the money he raised?

JFK: Did the microphone not work? Did anyone in this room hear me just a few minutes ago discuss the serious fix we are in here? Global Thermonuclear War?. Toe to Toe with the Russkies? Does that ring a bell? It's serious folks, I'm not joking.

Reporter: Sir, the Republicans say that every time your administration runs into trouble with its domestic programs that you overplay the threat from the Russians in a bald attempt to improve your sagging ratings. Is there any truth to that allegation?

JFK: un-freaking-believable.

Reporter: Many people, such as Vaughn Meader and Gore Vidal, think you sound funny when you talk. When you say “CUBA” you sound like you are really saying “CUBER”, is that a result of your your rich upbringing or are you just, well how do I put this gingerly... ignorant? Apparently when you spoke in Berlin, you also mistakenly announced in german that you “were a doughnut” making yourself the object of mockery to the German press. Do you care to comment?

JFK: ok, I'm outta here.

Reporter: Sir, when will you apologize for your short sighted speech in Berlin which unnecessarily inflamed tensions with the Russians?


End Snip...

Posted @ January 26, 2006 09:06 AM | Current Affairs

Comments

Very, very nice.

Posted by: Addison at January 27, 2006 10:55 AM

Unfortunately, there is another unstated "if" here:

"... and IF he were a Republican..."

As a Democrat, they would have had their tongues too far up his, ummmm, "rectal orifice", to ask such insipid questions.

Posted by: OhBloodyHell at January 31, 2006 04:31 PM