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Headlines

Water discovered on Moon of Saturn: Life possible says NASA.
Zogby poll shows new life forms find Bush unpopular.

Hitler: How Bush Blew It.
Infamous former leader of the German Third Reich returns from hades to offer stark criticism the Bush administration. “He’s just not racist enough” complains former leader of Germany. " I'm tired of people running down my reputation by comparing me to him".

Yale admission records show Nazi Reich minister Albert Speer admitted as student in 1946.
“ We believe in a diverse student body” says Yale president.

Ghosts of Rep. Smoot and Hawley appear on Capitol Steps to warn Congress on protectionism.
“What are you thinking you nincompoops, look at what we did to the country” cry sprits of long dead congressmen who caused world wide depression with protectionist bills.

Iranian scientists find working on atomic program difficult due to side stitches from laughter.
”Those jokers at the UN don’t really think were worried about them, do they”? says Hamdi Hashemi leader of the Iranian atomic weapons program.

Gas prices climb as Saudi Arabia agrees to stop selling oil the US.
“ We don’t want to be a security risk to the people of the United States” says sheikh .

Zogby Poll shows Taliban set to win more seats in Congress than Republicans.
“ Many people like their strong Anti-jewish stance” says Zogby.

CIA Whistleblower reveals that Bush often holds meetings in White House Oval office that are classified as National Security related.
Outraged Democrat leaders want hearings to discover content of these meetings.
“ Who does the President think he is, the President?” said Senate Minority leader Harry Reid.

Lack of al-queda attacks in US cited as proof of Bush failure in War on Terror.

Low unemployment numbers seen as further proof of Bush failure in on the Economy.

Bush failure to return to Gold Standard angers Republican constituency.

Bush failure to ban Fluoride in drinking water angers Republican constituency.

Bush efforts to increase investment in US fails, France and Germany gleeful at their sudden windfall.
“ He had us beat, and then Congress stepped in and handed us this gift, its like Christmas!” said German foreign Minister Joscka Fischer.

Bush failure to order “shoot on sight” orders to border patrol angers Republican constituency.
Low poll number may force Bush to shoot illegal immigrants himself.

US seen as bad investment for wealthy oil nations.
“Why should we take a risk on these rubes when the Chinese and Indians will treat us with respect?” says Shiekh.

Japan and China site American Terrorists like Bonnie and Clyde, Baby Face Nelson, Dillinger, Mcveigh and the Terror organization KKK as reasons not to invest in US.
“You just can’t support putting investments in a country that has supported organizations like that; its barbaric ”

US Ports safer back in hands of Mafia Controlled Teamsters, says Rep. Duncan Hunter.

Posted @ March 10, 2006 06:09 PM | Current Affairs

Posted by: Thomas Esmond Knox at March 12, 2006 06:08 PM