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Zarqawis peers react to his passing

So let's ask the "Islamic Supermen" what they think of the loss of Zarqawi...

Saddam Hussien.
Captured December 14th 2003.
Currently awaiting a sentence of "Death by Hanging".

"Well I tell you, this is what happens when you outsource, isnt it? I mean, you just cant get good help these days. I mean we have an entire invasion against us here in Iraq and do you think one of the fedyeen geniuses could manage to blow up a single bridge or string a wire across a road? No, so sure enough I have to hire out for that kind of expertise. So who do I get? Yeah, "mr. lets kill lots of Muslims to make them love us and our cause". Yeah that will get them on our side, Like I havent been doing that for years already and look where it got me, a suite right here in the Downtown Bagdhad YMCA. But what are you going to do, its not like weve got the pick of the litter to choose from out there, you take what can and make the most of it. But seriously, if a bloodthristy terrorist thug cant hide in Iraq, whats the world coming to?"

Well, now its three years later and everyone is an expert at roadside bombs. But does that help me now? No. But does he send me a bill every two weeks like clockwork, oh you betcha!

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Captured March 1 2003.
Currently undergoing 'close interrogation' in Pakistan.

"He was always a real bite in the ass. Everytime we went out to dinner, he was always the first to say we should "go dutch". of course, he would always get next to nothing and then start with the " hey,are you gonna eat those fries?" Then after dinner is over, he goes into the " Hey man! I just had a glass of tea, I'm not kicking in for your ladyfingers" routine. What a tightass."

Abu Zubaydah
Captured March 28, 2002
Current incarcerated.

"Not my favorite guy. very close friend of Libbi though, if you know what I mean. Very-close-friend (wink-wink). I dont care for people who wear "Hi Karate" and still think of themselves as cool. We'd be out at Jihad camp doing exercises and he'd smell like the Avon lady crawling around out there, I mean you could smell him upwind when he wore that stuff,which was all the time. He had cases of it. I mean, who knew that they still made that crap? "

So, I'm on my way out to help blow up LAX and who stops by? Thats right, Mr. Johnny "tres flores" Jihad himself. Sure enough, he splashes me on both cheeks with the friggin 'Hi Karate', just for "Good luck" he says. Yeah. great. So the Border Guard catches a whiff as I'm coming through the gate and of course now he thinks I'm hiding something, which of course I was and the rest is history. Yeah, thanks a bunch, you freakin idiot. I hope you and your asian stinkwater roast in hell.

Abu Faraj al-Libbi
Arrested May 2nd 2005.
Currently under close interrogation by Pakistan.

Er, uh Who? I'm sorry friend I know not of who you speak. One day I was on my way to the local Madrassa to turn in my algebra homework, and the next thing you know these men throw me into a truck and said I was a Jihadi. I mean really, do look like a Jihadi to you?

Zacarias Moussaoui
Captured August 2001.
Currently serving several life sentences at the SUPERMAX facility in Florence Colorado.

"So, let me get this straight, they dropped two 500 lb bombs directly on his head. Is that right? Well theres only one thing to say then... LUCKY BASTARD!!! He doesnt get to live for the next 40 years with Ted Kaczynski as his roommate. Oh, man, he goes on and on and on about dolphins and the machinery of modern life. He just never shuts up. "Wapners on at five, Wapner is on at 5, Im a good driver, im definetly a good driver, I wouldnt open that letter if I were you. Yeah, a regular hoot to spend my wait for eternity with. He asks me atleast a dozen times a day "what do I think of Al Gore". Like I care diddly about Al Gore! He's constantly writing letters to publishers saying that "Al Gore stole his ideas". As if anyone is ever going to open a letter with a return address from him. He just never shuts up about Redwood trees. It's enough to make you scream. Kaczynski....Kaczynski... you know, I'll bet thats a jewish name. Yeah, thats got to be it. A Zionist conspiracy to drive me mad. That's got to be it. "

Ted Kaczynski
Currently Serving a life sentence in the SUPERMAX facility in Florence Colorado.

"If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later..."

TED!!! (Shouts cellmate Moussaoui...)

Posted @ June 09, 2006 03:48 PM | Current Affairs