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Keep Em Flying

I hate morning flights, and yet, there I was at 4:00 am Thursday morning waking up to take another flight. I don’t normally wake up to an alarm, I usually just wake naturally, but there’s nothing natural about being awake at 4:00 am, unless you haven’t yet gone to bed.

Half asleep, half wondering if there was something I forgot at home, I sped down the empty country roads out to the airport, hoping to get there before the magic “ one hour” timeframe. Since 9/11, the earlier you get to the airport, the better off you are. I always try to get to the gate an hour before departure. I don’t like surprises and Thursday morning would just remind me just how much I don’t like them.

Halfway to the airport, the Radio broke into my groggy half sleep, half drive with an announcement,

“Breaking news – A Terrorist plot was broken early this morning…”

Good. Keep up the good work guys.

“…21 members of a terror cell in the UK were in the process of attempting to bring down...”

Uh, oh. “Shoe Drop” is eminent.

“ Commercial airliners bound for the US…”

Yeah. That’s the usual M.O. for these guys.

“ As a result, the Department of Homeland Security has raised the threat level to Red…”

Man. This is going to just play hell with the airport this morning.

“One other note, DHS has said that passengers will not be allowed to carry liquids on board the aircraft…”

So, I set my expectations accordingly. I decided it was going to be a rough day at the airport and that it was possible that the whole day could come to a stop even before I got there.

Travel in the summer is always hell for the experienced traveler. For those of us who travel all the time, it isn’t lines, the TSA or terrorists that get under our skin the most, its tourists, especially ‘first time away from home’ tourists. I found my “first time tourists” in my line, 10 deep standing with enough luggage to hold an entire division of soldiers for a month, waiting for someone to “help them”, all while they leaned on the new expensive automated kiosks that could in fact help them with their problem, or at the very least, help the rest of us, if only they stopped leaning on them and started using them.

But truth be told, despite the lines of “amateurs”, I waited all of 15 minutes to get ticketed. Not bad for a line that was 25 deep when I got into the line. And why did I have to wait in line? Well, I decided that my normal method of using “carry on” baggage was probably not a good idea today under the circumstances, so I had to check my bag. My laptop would stay with me, but the other stuff would have to ride in the cargo area.

I picked up my boarding passes, and went up to the TSA area. This morning, the line stretched all the way back to the bridge from the parking garage, roughly 25 yards. I thought to myself, “oh well, there goes that flight!”. But to my surprise, the line was long but it was moving at a good clip. I was through the security portal in a little under 10 minutes and standing at the gate, waiting for boarding.

The only thing that was out of the ordinary was that we had to be rechecked on boarding by another brace of TSA folks. The new “No liquids” rule really threw for a loop the Starbucks crowd. Not having their precious brown caffeinated liquid was just something most of them had never considered.

The result was that it took longer to board and we left Sacramento late, but through a miracle of scheduling, we arrived on time to Phoenix. Phoenix had its own version of the lines, but it was moving at about the same pace as Sacramento. Boarding for Austin from Phoenix was a breeze, not much more than a typical day at the airport.

What I did find interesting is that while I was standing and waiting to board, I was watching CNN talk about how flying today was just a disaster, the end of the world, The “Katrina of the Airlines!” Just look at the lines in Chicago, “proof of the coming apocalypse!” Breathless coverage. Good for ratings I suppose.

But there I was, actually flying on the day described as “chaos” and I was looking at a totally different picture. Things were taking a little longer than usual, I was a little more thirsty than usual, but that’s all it was really. Big lines, lots of surprises, but it was also a long way from the “Soylent Green at the airport” that CNN was making it out to be.

The only real change to my normal flying routine, that is besides not having my requisite bottles of Diet Coke, was the 15 minutes I had to spend waiting at the baggage return for what were my formerly carry on bags.

Everyone woke up on Thursday to receive a big “Three Stooges Slap” across our collective cheeks. We are at war kids, and this is just a small reminder of that sad fact. We are at war whether or not we voted for Gore or Kerry or Bush. Were at war not because were in "Iraq" or "Palestine" but because of the people who hate us and want to kill us wish to keep on killing us in any way they can. No amount of excusing their hatred or trying to understand it, or rationalizeing it can make it go away.

They attack our airlines, not just for the shock value, but because of the freedom they represent. Islamic fascists might be able to make a bomb out of shampoo and toothpaste and they may even get some hapless kid to want to wear the bomb on an airliner and set it off, but they even begin to be able make the airplane that they ride in.

What makes us better than them? Well, We make aircraft, spaceships, fast cars, telephones, crystal glassware, lamps, decorative jewelry, books, magazines.

They make bombs and strap them to kids to kill other kids.

We make food processors, waffle irons, 300 brands of toothpaste.

They make toothpaste into bombs.

We make a singing toy fish that hangs on the wall and sells for 9.99 at a place called "wal-mart".

They make bombs.

But Aircraft and Airlines are the very real representation of “Freedom” and as we have learned over the past few years, there is nothing they hate more than just the idea of “freedom”.

And they really hate us for it, for freedom. They hate us so much that they are willing to kill themselves just to show us just how much they really, really hate us, and you are supposed to fear them, cower and hide your eyes from their gaze in fear of what they might do to you.

Aren’t you scared now infidel? Don’t you want to quit? Surrender now and die or live as a slave!

Gee, is that my list of choices, Mr. Jihad Johnny? Surrender or die?

Well ok then, then I guess we’ll just have to keep on fighting.

No, I’m not scared of flying now. I will continue to fly, do my job, and smile the whole way through it, for no other reason that it just drives them crazy to see that sort of thing happen. Were supposed to cower in fear from the threats, but the truth is on thursday morning, I wasn’t the only one just going on with life. That was a whole lot of unscared people standing in those lines.

Irritated people? Yeah, but flying just the same.

The people we fight are not 20 feet tall supermen, they are just people like you and me, with fears and foibles, wishes and desires; they even bleed just like we do. They are deluded fools and followers of a dying philosophy who cant understand how their God has abandoned them and instead of smiting the infidel, has favored the hated infidels, that being, you and me dear reader who have had the bad taste to wake up on Thursday morning, (even at 4:00 am) with a smile on our face for all the good in our lives.

And they absolutely hate us for it. It absolutely drives them insane with rage that we just go on with our lives. We stand in long lines and toss away more diet coke, more bottled water, more toothpaste than can be created in all of hate-filled madrassas around the world. We feed our dogs with more care and better nutrition than they feed their own people.

And every day that we go on, we get stronger and they get weaker.

How many skyscrapers have we built in 5 years? Ships? Aircraft? Homes? Cars? Books? Plates? Forks and Knives? Televisions? Pottery Barns?

And Al-queda?

I rest my case.

Five years from now, when not having “liquids” on our flights is considered just as normal as having to take our shoes off in security was on Wednesday, I’m sure there will be someone waiting to get on a flight who is flustered by some inconvenience that’s been newly imposed on our world by the terrorists, who just suddenly has the urge to smack himself in the forehead with an open palm and say (as I did this morning)

“ Oh that’s right! – SMACK - Were at war!”

And as long there are people in the world who find it easier to hate us than to deal with their own problems, we will be at war. Not because we want to be, but because they cant afford not to be.

So life goes on. And despite their best efforts to make it otherwise, it’s a pretty good life too.

And that, is why they hate us.
And that, is what “the war” is all about.

So 'Keep em Flying' everyone. Life is Good.

Posted @ August 10, 2006 11:16 PM | Current Affairs

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