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You can try making it fun again

(1950's advertisement for the Lockheed Super Constellation. This is my idea of flying. Also please note - everyone is having a good time and there isnt so much as a calculator on the aircraft.)

Well it looks as if (thanks once again to terrorists) that we are about to see another change to our habits with air travel. Remember when we used to be able to board aircraft without going through metal detectors? I do. Remember when you didn’t have to undergo a full colonoscopy in security to get through to your flight on time? I do. Ah, those were the days. You could actually get to a flight 5 minutes before it left and actually make it on board without getting arrested.

First came metal detectors. Then came the requirement to actually give your real name when you checked in. Then came taking off your shoes, and now its come to not being able to take your “stuff” with you.

The indignity of modern life never seems to end.

Our generation has been raised in the electronic age so these new electronic things are everyday normal for us, but air travel existed long before the advent of portable computers, Ipods, dvd players, ebooks, PSP’s and half a dozen other things that we probably wont get to use anymore on long flights. It will be a hard adjustment, but we can make it, our grandparents did or parents did, so can we.

I think that the adjustments for passengers will be easier than it will be for airlines because to overcome the loss of our “toys”, airlines are going to have to do something that they have moved away from for the last 30 years.

They are going to have to start treating their passengers as customers, rather than as cargo. It’s a radical thought I know, but bear with me for a second.

Back in the “grand old days”, passengers had to be compelled to fly. Back in the “grand old days”, airliners fell from the sky with an amazingly high failure rate, so passengers had to be bribed with flight bags with the airline logos, special treatment on the flight. Heck, they even fed you on your flight– with real food too!

It worked. We flew, despite losing an average of 5 passenger jets a year. If an overnight bag from Pan Am will make me brand loyal despite the headlines in those days, then perhaps the same can be used now to overcome the possibility of a disaster today.

Over the years, the market (the passengers- the “cargo with legs” that is…) has taught the airlines that the one thing that really mattered was price and price alone. Passengers learned that they could take their own entertainment; they didn’t need to pay the airline for the use of the precious “plastic air tube technology” earphones to watch a bad movie while enroute. They learned that they could take their own drinks on board, and even get their own food. Passengers got so good at it that airlines soon learned that it simply didn’t make sense to give these incentives to passengers in the first place. Passengers didn’t want them and they weren’t impressed when the airline gave them anyway (remember those endless hours of standup comedy routines involving bad airline food?). All we taught the airlines was that if you lower the price and get us there safely and regularly; we didn’t care about the rest of it.

Airbus makes aircraft with seats that have no air vents and many of the seats don’t recline? Who cares! I can fly to LA for less than it costs to drive and that is all that mattered (or at least it used to…).

And that’s all that mattered, because we took care of the rest. What do I care what the inflight movie is? I’ve got an Ipod that has my Tivo content downloaded on it. I’ve got a laptop to work on and I’m eating and drinking my own preferences.

All I want is a seat.

Well now things have changed for both the passengers and the airlines.

It’s ok post baby boomers, generation-xers, generation-yers, and whatever the hell you call people who were born after 1990, the world managed to get along just fine before we all carried more computing power in our backpack than NASA used to go to Moon and at the same time have more media technology at our disposal (in the palm of our hands no less) than Stanley Kubrick used to create 2001: A Space Odyssey. It will be tough; it will be difficult, but we will get through it. We will all learn why it’s really important to back up our laptops as we check them as luggage, but we will get through it.

Really.

Once upon a time, we all sat on aircraft on long, LONG flights without the help of our laptops, Ipods, cellphones, 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke and food from our favorite airport diner.

But back then the airlines helped us with this time management problem. For one thing, they let people smoke; they served prodigious amounts of hard alcohol, (and so long as you left the “stews” alone, they really didn’t care of if you managed to get drunk with it either). They gave you playing cards, actually gave them to you, for no extra charge! They even managed to give you a seat that was an actual seat - that you actually could sit in, unlike today’s seats that are more like putting on a pair of pants (A very stiff pair of pants that don’t move, are two sizes to small and a thousand other people have worn before you put them on).

They even fed you; sometimes they fed you more than once. Airlines actually competed on the quality of their food.

Once upon a time, flying was fun. It wasn’t particularly safe, but it was fun. Now its pretty damn safe, but its not fun.

Its time for the airlines to put the fun back into flying. Its time for airlines to get back into the process of providing passengers incentives for flying with their airline. I don’t mean “mileage” clubs. I mean incentives. Glorious swag. Free goodies by the armload with lots of prestige attached.

Here’s my idea of incentives:

Dump 6 rows of seats; give all the other seats that much more room. I don’t mean dump 2 rows of seats, increase the size of 4 rows of seats and charge a premium like United and American have done. I mean that people today are not 5 foot 6 feet tall average, so stop making seats that use that as an average size. Lets set 6 foot 5 as the average, and let everyone except the ½ of 1 percent that are over 6 foot 5 enjoy the freedom to be able to move their legs on a flight.

Give passengers Ipods when they get on board. Collect them when they get off. On the Ipod will be a collection of “things to watch or listen to”. Car rental companies have made the Car GPS and XM radio move faster into the marketplace by allowing business travelers a chance to see them in action. I now see Hummers for rent at Hertz. A smart move on GM’s part. Let the traveler try one out, so they can go home and buy one. The same will prove to be true of ipods or other such things. While its not a big deal, just the fact that the passenger is trusted makes them feel like they aren’t a burden on the airline. It’s a little thing, but it helps.

Feed the passengers. Feed them good food. Not fancy food, but good food. It can be done.

Give the passengers all they can possibly stand to drink. All the passengers, not just the 4 seats in first class.

Make the line as small as possible and as convenient as possible. How do you do that? Eliminate them. Car rental companies figured out how to do it a long time ago, airlines should do the same.

Smile. Laugh. Flying is supposed to be fun. Have your staff say, “Can I help you” not “What is your Problem”. Have them say “Can I help you” and actually mean it. Remember, it’s supposed to be fun. If you are 60 years old, not particularly fond of flying, and just to get the to the gate you’ve had to undergo a battery of invasive humiliations, when you walk up and ask if the flight is going to be on time, you really don’t want to be told “I cant help you – this gate is closed”.

Service. Smile. For Gods sake folks, you’re not in the “airplane business”, you’re in the hospitality business. SO TRY TO BE HOSPITIBLE WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS. MAKE THEM WANT TO FLY WITH YOU.

Virgin Airways has already moved in this direction. I predict they will do very well as a result.

United, American and Delta need to get their act together quickly, not because other airlines will be their competitors, but because the passengers have a choice, and in the modern world more and more of them aren’t choosing to fly someone else, they are simply choosing not to fly. United recently created a low cost no frills wing of their airline called “Ted”.

I recommend that they get fancy in a hurry that they rename it “Theodore”.

Flying used to be fun, even when lots of people died doing it. We fixed the dying part, now we need to go back and fix the fun part that we lost along the way. We can make it fun again if we try. We’re smart, creative people. Let’s watch and see what happens.

(Look at this Ad. Red Carpet, Hot towels, cocktails, wines, dinner, dessert, exotic liqueurs, movies and oh my – even “stereo”. It makes you gasp, doesnt it?)

Posted @ August 13, 2006 11:33 PM | Aviation

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