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Worlds Ugliest Cars

Business week has a slide show on the 11 ugliest cars of the 1970's.

What's sad is, I owned 3 of them.

1. The Chevrolet Corvair.
Air cooled 6 cylinder engine, 100 fanbelts and a two speed automatic transmission, what's not to love? Don't all cars leak oil at the rate of a quart per day?

Yes the 1968 corvair monza convertible was a nice car. I didnt have that one. I had the 1963 4 door hardtop model. It was old the day it rolled out the factory door.

2. The Chevrolet Chevette.

My first car out of college. To be honest, I never had a problem with it. It was the last car I ever owned without air condtioning. It was also the last car I ever had with "wind wings".

3. The Ford Pinto.

This car was the "family wagon" from 1975 till 1982. It taught all 3 of my sisters to drive. One sister backed it out of the garage with the doors wide open and yes, it did eactly what you think it did. The doors peeled off the frame like a banana peel and fell to the ground. At no point in the 9 foot long maneuver did my sister slow down or stop, she just kept going as the doors were loudly ripped from their mounts, all the while she sat oblivious to the metal carnage going on around her as she kept dutifully looking backwards down the driveway, so as "to avoid getting into an accident" as she would try to explain later.

The old man got home from work that day and just stood in the driveway and looked his daughter, and then at the debris pile leading to the car and shook his head from side to side, took his hammer and mallets in hand and simply "convinced" the doors to go back on the car. It was as if he wasnt the slightest bit surprised or disappointed. It was his daugther, her 'Modus Operandi' was well known and it was after all a "Pinto", it could be rebuilt with a minimum of effort.

The poor pinto, with its newly mangled doors would go on for another 4 years of use and abuse at the hands of my sisters. It never failed or faltered, but it burned oil like a two-stroke motorcyle.

My wife owned a Gremlin. It not only didnt have an air conditioner, it had a heater that always worked, which if we lived in anchorage would have been a feature but since we lived in the central valley of california where August is the season where lead melts in your driveway, it was a hellish experience to drive. Literally.

It was later sold to one of my other sisters(not the 'door peeler', but another sister) who proceded to get into an accident a week later. She and the Gremlin were unharmed however, the truck that hit her, was totalled. Ugly? yes. Built with soviet tank robustness?, you betcha. (And yes, I'm talking about the gremlin, not my sister)

Posted @ August 28, 2007 11:48 AM | Current Affairs

Comments

Oddly enough, I had three similar stories.

1. I, too, owned a (1964) Corvair. It leaked oil which accumulated on the rear grill. It also leaked water into the left rear floor. Years later, a co-worker said that fixes had been found for both problems.

2. I was offered (by Avis used cars) a 2 year old Chevette with less than 1,000 mile. It was never rented (wonder why) and most of the miles were added driving the car from Miami to Atlanta for sale.

3. My son, 13 at the time, was allowed to back my 1983 Pontiac wagon out of a friend's carport. Jumping into the car, he left the door slightly ajar. The rest is easily deduced. The door opened under the acceleration, striking my friend's car in the right rear quarter panel. Undeterred by this anomaly, my son continued to apply loud pedal causing the door to open even further as it struck the support beam (instant kindling wood) holding up the carport roof. My son found the brake at approximately the same time the door became one with the front fender.

Kindest regards.

JJ

Posted by: John Johns at August 29, 2007 12:30 AM

Hey, I used to have a '73 Matador (the sedan model). It was a hand-me-down from my father, who bought it because it had a decent amount of trunk space and fit in the garage. Lasted for many years, though for the last few it didn't get much use. I sold it, cheap, about 1990... and a few years later heard that Matadors had become collectible.

I seem to recall that, in the late (?) 1980s, several companies came out with cars that looked vaguely Paceresque - a trend that didn't last long.

Posted by: Eric Wilner at August 29, 2007 06:24 AM

Yeah, I had a Pinto as well, amazing thing.

I bought it off a barmaid in Washington for $400, while I was driving in the countryside and my Bucik went to that big junk yard in the sky. I scanned the local paper, went and saw it and bought it.

I drove that thing for about 20k, and it never gave out, never broke down, haulded people and building materials, then broke down a week before I was due to sell it.

I think the engine was British. It was said to be from a few different countries.

I remember it fondly for its bucket seats and fake-wood siding, and a girl I once persuaded into the back seat.

Ah.. memories.

Posted by: Tony at September 13, 2007 06:11 AM