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I thought I was being paid by the word!

Chris Hitchens finds that the benefits of writing often depend on whom you are writing for. From The New York Daily News:

"...Be thankful Graydon Carter isn't your boss. The Vanity Fair honcho ordered columnist Christopher Hitchens to get a makeover for the October issue, after which Hitchens felt more like a POW than well-kempt gentleman. The Brit endured six hours of dental rejuvenation and some manscaping thanks to a "sack, back and crack" wax. Says Hitchens: "The combined effect was like being tortured for information you do not possess."

Mr. Carter, if having bad dental hygene and a hairy back works for Chistopher Hitchens, I suggest you stop defurring and root planing Mr. Hitchens and start taking away the dipilatory cremes and toothbrushes from the rest of your staff instead.

Hitchens is an English writer for cryin out loud, he's supposed to look like a walking talking cross between a well used cat scratching post and a naugahyde bean bag chair; it's all part of the image. Pretty people make bad writers simply because they find other things to do with their time than sit by themselves and brood.

It reminds me of a Billy Conolly story. When Billy was being processed for entry into the Territorial Army Parachute Regiment During the exam, the doctor giving him his physical said 'You're not very big downstairs, are you?' to which Connolly retorted, 'I thought we were only going to fight them.'

Posted @ November 08, 2007 12:21 PM | Current Events

Comments

Was this done so that Hitchens can write an article about the experience, or just for the sake of dress code? Because if it's the latter, I see the reasoning behind the dental work, but what is Hitchens going to be doing such that anyone but his wife will know about the "sack, back and crack" wax?

Posted by: Kevin at November 8, 2007 03:35 PM

Frank, you are hillarious. Where in the world do you come up with this stuff? That last little bit of quote had me laughing so hard...You sir, would be the Star, sitting around in 'Extras Holding' on our movie 'sets'.

Posted by: Blogengeezer at November 12, 2007 08:46 AM