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The Sick Lady of Edmonds

Vaction Blogging.

It's not work, its not play, its something in between.

We are now back from our annual trip 1900 mile round trip up to the in-laws in the Pacific Northwest. While I was there, I had a very nice visit to the much improved 'Museum of Flight' and in general it was a great trip. Burgerville on the way up, Ivars Salmon chowder a hockey game on Thanksgiving Eve, a visit to the Cascade Symphony and Third Place books meant that most of the big items on the annual "must do" list were completed.

Should I write on the Hockey Game? nahhh... The Symphony where the audience was older then the vey old members of the symphony turning the concert into a contest of wills to see who would fall asleep or die first? nahhhh....

The simple joy of Ivars Salmon Chowder or Burgerville and the 'Tillamook cheddar cheese and Bacon burgers'? Nahhhh....

Or, how my wife and sister-in-law went trawling at the local harbor bars for just a small slight chance to see Captain Sig Hansen of TV Show 'Deadliest Catch'? Nahhh. They had to settle for "Sig Sat Here" at the 'Lockspot' bar, along with a now favored T-shirt advertising said same.

Nahhhh. I'm not going to blog on any of those subjects. Instead of those the most obvious of things, I'm going to blog on my sister-in-laws 'objects d'art'.

My sister-in-law enjoys the arts of all types and works hard in her enjoyment. She is in the truest sense of the word "a patron" of the arts.

My sister-in-law, who serves as the family bed-n-breakfast for the annual Thanksgiving visit has a set of very interesting art in her home. When I say 'interesting', I say it in recognition that her home is esquisitely decorated and in very good taste, except as we shall see, a couple of examples of oddness. I say 'interesting' with the same voice inflection that Spock gets when the the Enterprise is suddenly surrounded by Klingon Battle Cruisers.

You see, while most of her art is pitch perfect and very nice indeed, she has a couple of very odd paintings that frankly, make no sense at all. Every time I see them, I just twist my head "RCA Victor Dog style" and wonder two things:

1. Who would paint this particular subject?

and

2. Who would buy it? and why?

To illustrate this phenomenon, I submit the following:

I call this one "Old Church - New Crack House". Now to be honest, this painting sneaks up on you like a special effect painting in the Disneyland 'Haunted Mansion'. If you see this from across the room, you say to yourself 'oh look, a painting of a church in a field, how nice". But as you get closer, it reveals its deep dark, uncomfortable self. The windows are boarded up and overhead vultures circle apparently waiting for the right moment to swoop in and snack on the long dead parishioners. It's like "Little house on the prarie" meets "The Omega Man". You expect that this was one of the paintings rejected by Rod Serling for "Night Gallery" as "Dear Sir, Sorry to inform you - this just too creepy for prime time". I'm fairly certain that if you showed this painting to most people in Europe they would see nothing out of the ordinary, because this is how all Europeans see churches.

I dubbed this painting "The Sick Lady of Edmonds", in a sort of homage to "The Mad Woman of Chaillot". This painting has always made me scratch my head and say, "Just what the hell is going on here?".

My wife likes to inform me that "She's not sick, she's resting. She's clearly tired of picking up after her ungrateful, slovenly, layabout husband and her uncaring children and shes just taking a moment to rest in her room for just two minutes without being bothered. Is that so wrong?"

I think they call that sort of analysis, 'projection'. It's like a Rorsach ink blot test, you sort of see what you want to see.

I look at it and I figure that she's saying "Oh sure, why this is exactly how I wanted to be captured for all eternity, in my house coat, flat on my back with my hair in a mess. Yessirreee, thats exactly what I had in mind when I told my parents I wanted to marry an artist. If only 'Johhny Von Rembrandt' here would put the same effort into painting the kitchen, this would all be worth it.I'll bet thats my towels he's using to clean his brushes, how many times have I told him not to use my towels..."

But why paint this scene in the first place? Did some artist get a sudden flash of inspiration and one forehead slap later, put his fingers together in faux picture frame style around the scene before him of his pale faced tuberculosis suffering wife as she sipped tea in her sickbed and said " AHA! I've got it! I paint what I see!". Her words from clenched teeth " Edward!! - Not NOW!" go unheard and unheeded as he gathered his oils and brushes. When the muse calls, you answer.

later, at the 'Art Gallery', a Lebowskian patron of the arts says to the owner 'This is it, this will really help tie the room together!"

Posted @ November 26, 2007 09:40 AM | Current Affairs

Posted by: Igotbupkis at November 30, 2007 10:46 PM