« March 2008 | Main | May 2008 »

Not Plausable

Bonnie and Clyde: Fightin' against "the man" in 1930's America.

Sure, you could say that former terrorist Bill Ayres is now an "English Professor" and has reformed himself from his wild antics in the 1960's. You could also say it in the same way that other people would describe the older european gentleman who lived down the street from you, who was later picked up and deported by the authorities because he turned out to be an SS guard at a concentration camp.

"Nice man, kept to himself mostly, never much trouble, always said hello in the morning, never mentioned the war..."

You could even make the case that you really didn't know about the seditious background of the man that you now dismiss as an "english professor", who was in fact actually plotting and carring out plans to kill Americans back when you were just a "spinach chinned" babe waiting for the next episode of "winky-dink and you".

But if in 1988, you had a summer job with a prestigious law firm and the woman sitting in the corner office was the wife of the the same man, and she herself was an avowed terrorist of noteworthy status herself, don't you think you might remember that? Are you really going to tell me that no one in that entire law firm didnt blurt that out after work while sitting around and drinking down the 6th beer of the evening, down at the corner tavern?

Especially if thats the time and place where you met your future wife?

If I was a hitchiker in Texas during the 1930's and Bonnie and Clyde picked me up on the side of the road and in the process of our adventure I managed to meet my future wife, I think I'd remember Clyde and his profession if someone mentioned his name to me later on.

Somewhere at this law firm there are time cards, memos and various notes from 1988. Imagine how much you could get on Ebay for an interoffice memo or any of the sort of daily office ephemera that is surely kept in the "vault" that has all three of their names on it at the same time.

What I find most implausible is that today, in that entire law firm, there isn't a single employee, staff or associate who as a Clinton supporter isn't willing to do just a little digging in the backroom storage lockers...

Posted @ April 25, 2008 11:05 PM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

how to shirnk the military budget

A 1/5th scale A-10 Warthog that really really flies.

If you could get the aircraft to mimic the sound of an A-10, I think this might actually be pretty useful in combat conditions. I am thinking it might be a more modern version of this World War II phy-ops thing called "Rupert".

Posted @ April 24, 2008 11:05 AM | Aviation | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

John McCain - Older than...

John McCain is older than FM radio? Oh say it isnt so! Kids, Hes older than Social Security Checks too, shouldn't we get rid of that idea since its clearly past its shelf date?

He's older than the National Endowment for the Arts, so lets ditch that as well. He's older than the State of Alaska, so lets get rid of that so we can start drilling for oil right away. He's older than Pell Grants, Student Loans and Gender Studies. Off they go....

Oh, I could go on like this all day.

John McCain - Saving the world from Punk Hippies since Barack Obama was eight years old.

John McCain - He doesnt hang out with communists, he just kills them.

Oh yes, this is going to be a fun election.

Posted @ April 18, 2008 11:51 AM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Murtha to address AARP

Snip:

"Democratic Rep. John Murtha says Republican Sen. John McCain is too old to be president. Murtha told a union audience Wednesday that the presidency is "no old man's job." The Pennsylvania congressman is supporting Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton."

End Snip.

Oh, this should help Hillary in Pennsylvania, because what she really needs now is a good old "age bias" slur to put her over the top.

Funny how he didnt say that Obama is too young to be President, eh?

Dear John Murtha,

We welcome your visit to AARP headquarters, so you can explain to our membership in exacting terms why you think that "old people" should vote for your candidate, in light of the slur you just foisted on the American People.

Posted @ April 16, 2008 07:25 AM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

20 Reasons Why Im Bitter

1. I live in a generation of Americans who don’t know what the words “variable” or “Adjustable Rate Loan” mean.

2. Pets.com really wasn’t worth 60 dollars a share.

3. There just aren’t enough Erectile Dysfunction commercials on television.

4. Bruce Springsteen has made millions singing about being poor.

5. There are still large sections of America that are without the services of an In-and-Out Burger.

6. The death penalty still does not apply to bad drivers.

7. I own an SUV and want the gas mileage of a small Honda Civic. I can have one but not the other. This is simply unfair.

8. My neighborhood wont allow me to park my Personal Water Craft, RV and speedboat in the driveway, which requires that I spend extra money on a storage space.

9. When I fly on airlines, some people have more leg space than I do and get better food.

10. There are large numbers of people who think that Dane Cook is funny.

11. My 47 inch plasma HDTV is heavy and hard to lift.

12. I have 500 channels of television to watch, and there’s not one thing on any of them worth watching.

13. Not one of my three Tivos will record in HDTV.

14. Seafood is only good when its fresh, and I live two hours from the beach.

15. In fine restaurants, polite smokers are always segregated from the general public, yet noisy, smelly, misbehaving children are always welcome and are given the best seats.

16. Soylent Green is people.

17. I now own 'Blade Runner' in 5 different DVD formats.

18. Other peoples ringtones, suck.

19. My gardening service only works one day a week.

20. If I was an irresponsible ass who became a drug user and fathered half a dozen kids out of wedlock, went bankrupt walked away from my mortgage and didn’t pay my bills, the government would provide any number of programs to help rehabilitate me, but if I live a straight life, pay my bills, live within my means and take care of my family, the government can only say that I don’t pay enough taxes and that its only fair that I step in to help people who live in the other category.

Posted @ April 14, 2008 04:09 PM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Obama: Nothing has changed

The Hypnotoad endorses Senator Obama!
All Praise to the Hypnotoad!

Look folks, I know you’re all excited because it looks to you like Senator Obama has revealed his true self to the world, but let me warn you that nothing new has happened here because of this new statement.

Why?

1. Because if what he said is offensive to you – but you weren’t going to vote for him anyway. If it wasn’t offensive to you, you were already voting for him.

2. Because if to you, this was a wrongheaded and stupid thing to say you weren’t going to vote for him anyway. But to a large number of people in his party, this is precisely what they believe and of course they would vote for him even after he said it . Reverend Wrights ideas are anathema to you, but to Democrats, he speaks the truth and they can’t honestly figure out what all the hubbub was about.

3. Because despite the rather large opportunity to make headway against Senator Obama, Senator Clinton will fail to be able take advantage of it. If she tries too hard to drive this home, it will backfire and by the end of next week, her party will blame her for the situation. Political campaigns are the first show of an executive management style. What Senator Clinton has shown is that she has no ability to execute any sort of plan. This is not a new revelation; we saw this lack of skill displayed in 1993. She is completely unable to deal with competition of any sort; again, this is not new.

4. In the next 48 hours, someone will remind the voters that James Carville once said “Pennsylvania is two big cities with Alabama in between” which will be twisted into something that was not said, but implied. In 7 days, Clinton will be on the defensive for what Obama said rather than the other way around. We saw this phenomenon on display after the Reverend Wright non-apology apology.

5. Obamas numbers will go up, and Clintons down. She is the anti-particle to Bill Clinton. Where he could charm even his enemies, she can only annoy; even her friends and allies.

Senator Obama is past the point where he can be criticized for anything he says. He has become the “hypnotoad” where everything he says is correct, simply because he says it.
Senator Obama could offer to sell Louisiana back to the French, and a large part of the Democrat party would praise his unique foreign policy stance and the consequences to the country be damned.

People in the Democrat party say that they want change, but as I like to remind them, change doesn’t necessarily mean good and it doesn’t always mean ‘sunshine and lollipops’; for example, cancer is change. Simply wanting change for the sake of change is childish and dangerous. It’s like the sort of emotion that comes from a 7 year old when they say they want to run away from home and join the circus because “mommy and daddy” didn’t buy them a “tickle me elmo”.

What is remarkable about Senator Obama isn’t that he says what he says or that he is getting away with it. What is remarkable is that “Senator Inevitable” has become so reviled by her own party that she cannot beat this guy even given every opportunity by him to do so. The soul of her electability is the ethos of victimhood, and being betrayed as a wife is the core of her constituency. The only strategy she has left to try is to have Bill Clinton come out and endorse Senator Obama, which would restore to her victimhood at the hands of Bill and recharge her campaign.

Could Hillary become “the comeback kid”? Sure, anything is possible, but come back or not, she comes back wounded and her party divided, and you can thank Howard “Early Primary” Dean for all of that. Think of all those big party player endorsements who will have to eat their words if she were to win. Yes, that’s a good message to send, the public voted for Hillary, while the party elite stood by Obama. If you cant run a campaign or a political party, how are you going to run a country?

Democrats are the strangest group of people I have ever known. They speak diversity and yet are shocked to find that half the electorate doesn’t agree with them. This is precisely because they don’t tolerate the presence of Republicans or “right wingers” around them, nor do they watch evil Fox News. Diversity is for other people I guess.

If Democrats shopped at wal-mart, went hunting and maybe joined the military now and then, they might find themselves winning elections again.

Be aware that they aren’t voting for Obama because he’s the best candidate to win the general election, they are voting for him because it makes them feel better about themselves for being who they are, which doesn’t do anything for the rest of us who don’t feel that way about him. He offers the Democrats a sort of “moral car wash” for their souls, which is fine if all that is wrong is that your car is just a little dirty, but if the problem with your car is that you are missing a distributor cap and its out of gas, taking it to the car wash doesn’t much help matters, no matter how good the car wash makes you feel.

John McCain should tell his campaign staff to run just one day of advertising each week between now and Election Day, just to remind all voters that he is in the race. The ad should simply play Obamas ads and speeches on a split screen, and on the right hand side show John McCain simply standing there, shaking his head in wonderment at the outright childish palaver that they both say and believe in that party. At the end of the ad, John McCain could say “ Please vote for me so we don’t all have to spend every single day of the next eight years listening to this drivel. For the love of God and all that is holy, please don’t make the people of this country have to crawl though this. Life is too short.”

McCain will win 49 states, not because he’s a great candidate with a lot of great ideas, but because he’s the only adult in the race.

And for that, we can all give a big “Thank you”, to “Howard Dean – Master Strategist”.

Posted @ April 13, 2008 11:00 AM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Rockefeller hates George McGovern

Lt. George McGovern. The photo is taken in 1943, during a periond of relative unrest in Europe where 'anti-jewish militants' were in control of the government of Germany and many of the worlds nations worked together to broker a 'peace plan' between the anti-jewish factions of Germany and the rest of their neighbors.

Quote:

"He's a fighter pilot. He flies at 35,000 feet and drops laser-guided bombs, missiles. He was long gone when they hit. What happened down there, he doesn't know.

That's unkind, because that's fighting for your nation and that's honorable. But you sort of have to care what goes on in the lives of people. ... and he never gets into those subjects"

Senator Rockefeller is apparently unaware that the 1972 Democrat party candidate for President dropped bombs from his B-24 from 25,000ft over Europe using a method that was a great deal more indescriminate and directed at civilians than John McCain did in 1968.

Its my guess that Senator Rockefeller cant read.

Posted @ April 09, 2008 08:02 AM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

now serving double entendre at montana teds

Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green Day at Montana Teds!

Look, we all knew that Ted was crazy, long before he demonstrated the effect of his losing battle against depression on the Charlie Rose show. Honestly Ted, I think you lost your remaining audience of sympathetic supporters at the "cannibalism" thing.

Now when you say something like "Were all going to be cannibals", you need to be extra special with the text on your website,less someone misunderstand. But check this bit of text that I found on his website for his restaurant chain, the Montana Grill:

At Ted’s Montana Grill, above all we are authentic. Real food. Real people.

Real Food? Real People? I can just see Charlton Heston crying out in the ending of Soylent Green with the words "Real Food IS Real People!!!!"

So, this is just a suggestion Ted, but after your appearance on Charlie Rose this week, you might want to change that text.

Posted @ April 02, 2008 11:06 PM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Falklands: You guessed it.

This headline caught my eye today:

Argentine president lays 'inalienable' claim to Falklands.

Because last month I saw this headline:

Drilling for oil to start in Falkland Islands

It really is "all about the oil", isnt it?

Posted @ April 02, 2008 09:53 PM | Comments (0)

The persistence of album art: Gleason and Dali

This boys and girls is a "record album". Back in the 50's, 60's, 70, and part of the 80's, you listened to it on a "record player". Yes thats Jackie Gleasons Name at the top, and Salvator Dali's signature at the bottom.

Think about it for a second.

Gleason - Dali.

Unfortunately, this is not where the weirdness ends. Heres just a partial list of things I that I find weird about this rather odd artifact from the past.

1. Jackie Gleason, made record albums where he showcased his singing. Apparently this went on for years with no intervention from the authorities.

2. Capitol Records, who would one day have the Beatles under contract, gave Jackie Gleason a contract to make these albums, which were not for comedy skits, but singing. I assume this was done for money and profit and not for laughs or as a result of the loss of a bet on the part of a record company executive.

3. People bought the albums. I cannot for the life of me figure out why. Perhaps there was a shortage of rodent repellant in the 1950's.

4. Jackie Gleason secured a meeting with Salvador Dali.

5. Salvador Dali agreed to meet Jackie Gleason. His people called His people and a meeting was arrainged and accepted. Apparently there were no record players in Catalonia during the 1950s. Perhaps it was a Generalissimo Francisco Franco thing, you never know.

6. At some point, probably after drinking a fifth of scotch during the meeting Mr. Dali (which surely occured poolside at Jackies famous Miami Beach art deco style manse)Jackie then decided that Salvatore Dali would be the perfect artist for his new album "Lonesome Echo". I'm sure that this idea sprung out of Jackies head right after he also drunkedly declared in yet another "toast" that "Sal" was his very best friend and he had never been closer to anyone ever, that Sal was certainly not like that "snake in the grass" Art Carney. "Whatya say Pal... eh hahahahaha!, Have another highball Sal!

7. Salvador Dali then agreed to make the album cover art for Jackie Gleason. This was right after his tenth highball and right before the sixth time that Jackie threw his butler in the pool " You know, for laughs!!! Come on Sal, you do it this time! hahahahaha!". Strangely enough to Dali, after the tenth time the butler went into the pool, it did actually seem pretty funny, even to him. So, he signed the contract for the album art. At least thought it was a contract, it could have been a "melting clock" or a "limp fish" for all he could remember. A month later, when Jackie and Capitol Records sent their legal staff to Catalonia to show Salvator Dali that he had in fact signed a real contract, for real money, and not a melting clock or a limp fish, it all came back rushing back to him.

8. Ok, lets say you were born in 1956. Its the "Baby boom". Your parents decide to conceive a child (that's you) just to "keep up with the joneses" next door. "Candlelight Dinner for two" was involved, Roses, and yes as they called it back then, "Booze", and lots of it. This album was made in 1955, so its just possible that your parents had this album, of all possible albums in the world, playing on the "record player" when the great moment of your conception occured. IS THAT THE CREEPIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO THINK OF, OR WHAT!!!!!

9. Today, a good copy of this album goes for $145.00

You have your definition of "surreal" and I have mine. This my friends, is surreal.

Jackie "Honeymooners" Gleason, shaking hands with Salvator "Un Chien Andalou" Dali. Whoa...

Posted @ April 02, 2008 08:25 PM | Making fun of people | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The nerve of some people

Referring to Gov. Richardson's defection to Obama, President Clinton said:

"Five times to my face (Richardson) said that he would never do that," a red-faced, finger-pointing Clinton erupted.

Gosh Mr. President, you mean he lied to you? He looked right at you and lied? How could he do that? Who does he think he is?

Posted @ April 02, 2008 01:04 PM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Dogfight: Congress vs. the American Aviation Industry

This is a Boeing KC-135R. You know, the tanker everyone is talking about.

Do you see anything wrong with this aircraft? I don't.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the "R" Model of the KC-135, uses engines made in France, the CFM-56 made by SNECMA.

Here is a Boeing site that talks in detail about the CFM-56.

Hat Tip to Retired General Chuck Horner, where this interesting fact was uncovered in an article on National Review. General Horner was the Combined Forces Air Component Commander during Desert Shield and Desert Storm. He consults for a number of defense firms including Northrop Grumman. Yes, He likes the KC-45, but you knew that didn't you.

Posted @ April 01, 2008 03:45 PM | Aviation | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Rashomon - The Air America Version

Local radio station KSAC has dumped Air America. My first reaction?,I thought that they were already gone, arent they?

So, let's read the reaction of the loss of the progressive flamethrower from this market, from two different viewpoints.
First up, Mike Malloy - who broadcasts on the Progressive Channel:

"I got the call from (KSAC general manager) Paula Nelson today -- she told me it broke her heart to have to make the change," Malloy says.

"It's not a ratings thing -- we have plenty of listeners," Malloy says. "KSAC is experiencing what most other liberal talk show format stations are experiencing - it's not a lack of audience, it's a lack of business support"

"If you listen to Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity, you'll hear (plenty) of national ads," he says. "If you listen to someone like me or Randi Rhodes, there's a complete lack of those types of sponsors."

It's a problem plaguing liberal talk radio in markets across the United States, he adds, noting that stations in San Francisco and San Diego have been forced to make similar changes.

Yes, all around the country is a booming business in Hip-Hop Gospel, because you guessed it, thats what KSAC is changing its format to.

"Progressive" talk radio, to Hip-hop Gospel. Why just the other day I was driving down the road and I just could not get a hip-hop gospel radio station to come in. It really set me to thinking, this town really could use a hip-hop gospel station. Clearly, Im not the only guy who was thinking that.

Well, what do you know! Businesses, who are portrayed regularly as evil, no good corporate blood suckers, don't want to advertise on stations that try to make money selling that opinion, Who knew? Next thing you know, you'll tell me that the DNC won't advertise on Limbaughs show.

But wait, theres more! and here's where it gets fun. We see more evidence of the "Liberal Reality Distortion Field" in action. Remember that station manager, who had her heart broken when she had to make the change, Paula Nelson?

We look at the end of the post and we see a link to another blog. What does that blog say?

"KSAC (1240 AM) station manager Paula Nelson says that, frankly, she's happy her station made the switch today from progressive talk radio to gospel.

Oh, and it's not just any ol' gospel - it's hip-hop gospel. Think anything from Yolanda Adams to the Rooftop MCs.

"It's got all the good beats and an inspirational, positive message, too," Nelson says of the new format, which went into effect late Saturday night. The call letters officially switched today.

And, right about now, Nelson says, she could use some positive.

"I was ready for this change - I just wasn't having fun anymore," Nelson says. "The whole political thing has gotten nasty, dirty and contentious."

And it didn't help that major political companies didn't support the station during its four years as a liberal talk radio station, she says.

"There are all these Sacramento Democratic organizations that haven't spent a dime on (advertising) for our station," Nelson says. "To them I say, 'You did this - you were complicit, you shut us down.'

"If you're not sending us the marketing dollars, then you're part of the problem."

You know, you can hardly tell the difference between what Mike said Paula said and what Paula said. Fun, upbeat positive thoughts set to music has actually beaten the voice of constipation, defeat and negativity. Who would've guessed?

I'm telling ya, the more things go on like this, the more I think McCain is going to win 49 states.

Posted @ April 01, 2008 12:27 PM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Great Depression - The 2008 Version

Dear Diary,

I am down to my last 4 cases of bottled evian water, and the nutrasystem diet shipment doesnt arrive until next week. I may be forced tout of necesssity to cook for myself using canned vegetables.

I am in despair. My extensive Itunes account has now been terminated. I may be forced to listen to the radio. We await the government help that was promised to provide us funding for out itunes accounts to help us survive against Apples predatory purchasing schemes that scammed into buying more music than we could afford.

Yesterday a group of us at the hobo jungle, which we call "Bushville", discovered that the government has established a sort of "free bookstore" where you can get books for nothing. Its like Borders and Barnes and Noble, except that there is no Starbucks and instead of using a credit card, you just give them your name and address and you can take anything they have for free, which is a pretty good deal. Other people have already read the books, but thats to be expected in times like these. Everyone must sacrifice a little in these sad times.

They say its called a "Library" which is a new word for me. The trick is, you have to return the book after they give it to you, which is a bit problem for me since the first 20 books I got there I sold on ebay the next day for a hefty profit.

The wife gave sad news to the family yesterday. She announced that the vacation to Disneyworld is off this year, since there would be little chance of staying "on the park" and the indignity of staying at a property outside the park would simply be too much for the little ones to bear. She then announced to us that it might be fun to go one of the many National Parks that are nearby and the kids broke down into tears over the indignity of sleeping in something less than the suite at the Grand Californian or the Maui Hyatt, which until this damned depression arrived was our normal annual destination. I never thought I would feel the shame of telling my kids they would have to camp outside in tents like vagabonds as part of a vacation, but thats the world that George W. Bush has brought us to. What kind of vacation would it be for kids to suffer like that?

I have had to endure the unendurable in the past eight years. Last week I told my son that I would not be able to buy him a new car for his 16th birthday, that due to the depression, I would have to buy a used car. It just tore out his heart. "But Dad, how will I face the other kids?" he said and broke down crying in my arms. I think I will have to sell another T-bill just to get him a car of any sort at all. I feel lucky to be able to do that, I know some parents who are forced out of necessity to have their kids ride a bike to school. Its shameful, when you see it, teenagers riding on bikes, you just turn your head and try not to look out of embarrasment for them.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that because of depression, he may have to go to a State College. I may soften the blow by telling him he just doesnt have the grades to go to University.

Its terrible what this economy makes you do.

Posted @ April 01, 2008 07:51 AM | Current Affairs | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)